January 12, 2007

Have you been to Meez?


What a fun little timesuck!

La di da.


Total Cuteness
Originally uploaded by jenworth.

I have not worked since Thanksgiving.

Clearly, I need to get out more, because I am talking to the cats.

That is all.

January 7, 2007

Another cat. What the hell?


Another cat. What the hell?
Originally uploaded by jenworth.

I'm starting to scare even myself. Am I destined to be a crazy cat lady? I swear I won't get one of those funky smelling apartments where it's obvious that there are cats due to catstench.

suggested names for this little guy are welcomed!

his foster mom named him picasso. no way.

he looks like ink was thrown on him; you have to see his crazy markings.

named bandied about:

splat: looks like he was splattered with ink
jack: he looks like a jackson pollock painting

he's so contrasty compared to the creamy orange Hippo.

January 4, 2007

Shallow Me

Apparently, I am shallow. And I like it.

I am a magazine junkie. I'll read nearly any magazine, and usually even have a subscription to a handful of different magazines. If P didn't mock Oprah as hard as he does, I'll probably even have a sub to "O", even though she's such an egomanic that she's on the cover every month.

Anyway.

Have you ever given magazines' purpose any thought? I mean, besides to sell ads, although this fits in nicely with my theory. Magazines exist to tell you about your imperfections. How to camoflage those 10 pounds. How to be more thoughtful. Stronger. Better looking, through make-up and fashion, of course. How to get rid of the gut, have a nicer house, get a better car, trick out your motorcycle, and overall, how to overhaul your sad-sack of a life. And if you want to avoid recognizing your pathetic life, you can drown yourself in celebrity tabloids. Now, those people are fucked. Even if they are rich!

Oh, and those ads? They're there to help you understand which products you'll need for your self-improvement project.

So magazines are essentially there to point out our flaws (and improve them) and to sell products.

Why do I love magazines so? A lot of them are ALL ads (hello, Vogue!). A lot have bad photography. But they're like little snippets into a culture. They're aspirational (hello, marketing buzzword!). They are a timesuck. Okay, there's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

Plus they are a waste of paper. Few use eco-friendly inks. I gotta get over this magazine thing.

Also, I heard on the radio yesterday an interview with some gal who wrote a book about current trends. Can't recall the title, only that she works at J Walter Thompson. She was speaking about how we're all feeling an emotional void which is why we try to fill it up with products.

But it was her comments about the superficiality of our relationships that stuck with me. She said we'd rather have 14 "lite" friends of a superficial nature with whom we can have small talk. Those people make us feel good and we can interact with them in brief spurts. She claims we, as a society, prefer that to having a small group of truly deep friendships, the kind of friends we can spend two hours talking to. She asserts it's because we don't have or make time, so we squeeze our friendships in wherever we have a moment in the cracks of our lives.

She may be right. I notice this myself. I have many "friends". How many of these "friends" do I get together with on a regular basis and gift them with my time and attention. Very few, but they're also not seeking it out because we all have busy lives and they, too, seemingly prefer the kind of quick interactions that friendship seems to be about these days. I have few friends that I get together with or have long, meaningful conversations. I cherish each of these people and times we get together. But there are people with whom I'd like to spend more time....I just don't "have" the time. That's bullshit, though.

One revelation I had years ago was this: for those who don't have enough time, they need to remember it's about choices. We all have the same 24 hours in a day. No one gets any more or any less. We all choose how we spend those 24 hours. So when you don't "have" time to spend with friends, or to go to the gym or whatever, it's because it's not a priority enough to make time for it.

Which leads me back to feeling shallow and selfish because there are people I truly want to connect with and somehow haven't made the time to do so.

December 30, 2006

the waves of 2006

last year I called the year end recap "cheesy". mmmm.....cheese. i'll eat those words, cause apparently i am doing it again. it's a fun thing to look back on a year later, thus, I bring you the thumbs-up and the boos of 2006.

The Crap:

Had to put Milo down. Hands down, this was the saddest, shittiest thing of 2006. I miss him still.

The Car Accident on April 5, 2006 and the resulting loss of my cycling year. Learned how much Allstate sucks, too.

Worked a hell of a lot and didn't have much downtime during the good weather.

Basically shut down the dog biz due to being so busy in advertising.

Didn't make it to Yosemite even once.

No backpacking trips.

Parking in my 'hood.


The Good:

Sold the house right before the market skidded and did well on the sale.

Purging and simplifying during the move. It's nice to have less stuff!

A couple good car camping trips.

Having a solid friendship with my ex-spouse.

Luna staying in good health and getting to see the joy of her having two homes.

The freedom of renting versus owning. Owning isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Being in a really healthy, wonderful relationship with someone I adore.

Hippo the Cat, a fun addition to the fam.

December 21, 2006

The Longest Night



It is the Winter Solstice. The shortest day. The longest night of the year.

A time of darkness. And the promise of lightness. New life. New beginnings to move forth from the darkness. A time for quiet. Introspection.

Light a candle tonight and sit for a moment in silence. Appreciate what has come to pass and all that there is to come.

December 18, 2006

Holiday Madness

People are insane right now.

For real. The frenzy of the holidays brings out the worst in people right now. The expectations of the holidays, the shopping in particular, results in people being crazed right now. Hurried. Rude. Inconsiderate. Absent-minded. Must shop. Gotta get everything on the list. People seem quick to cut each other off driving.

What about good cheer? Goodwill towards others? It's gone the wayside due to consuming, and the commercialism of this grouping of holidays.

It sucks. Reason # 613 I ignore the holidays. Perhaps this year, with taking the month off, I am more acutely aware of the madness because I am not moving anywhere near that pace of life.

In other news: I sat for a few more hours of tattoo work on my belt piece. It's nearly done; just have another couple hours of the fine details work, the shading and refining. Marcus layers his colors in like a watercolor, so he likes to see the colors from session to session so he can really work in the details. This sitting was more painful than the last one. I was complain-y and getting electrical current-like radiating sensations far from the actual needlin'.

Advice for the day: If you get tattooed along the beltline the day before, it's a really bad idea to put on spandex shorts and go to a spin class less than 24 hours after a tattoo appointment.

December 15, 2006

I'm not, honest!


Playful Loon
Originally uploaded by jenworth.

I'm really truly not turning into a crazy cat lady, blogging and flickring all about my cat.

i'm just an all around animal nut, and to prove it, here's a photo of my supercute dog Luna. She took a break in between killing her stuffed toy to post for the camera.

Am I dork? Quite possibly.

Introducing.....Hippo!


Kitten Study #1
Originally uploaded by jenworth.

yep, that's his name.

December 13, 2006

Powder Days

Caught my first day of snowboarding yesterday. It was awesome! P and I got season passes to Kirkwood and since I'm taking the month off, I wanted to get up there fast. Tahoe got a foot of snow this past weekend. My friend Michelle and I drove up for the day, leaving Oakland in the rain before 6am.

We got in a good five hours of riding. My first run, as usual, left me thinking, "Do I remember how to do this?" and from there on out, it only got better. It's feeling more natural. Pilates seems to be helping my snowboarding, even!

A good good day. Wet heavy snow fell after lunch, but we still rode until the lifts closed.

So much fun. Went back to the car, and the tire chain mishap we had driving in left me with a flat tire. Called Triple-A, waited by the fire, and they came and replaced the tire and followed me up Carson Spur to make sure I could get out of the snow without my broken chains. Even that business didn't put a damper on a really fun day!

I'm already wanting to be back on the slopes!

December 11, 2006

Kitten needs a name!


Killing the Duck
Originally uploaded by jenworth.

Mr. Kitten just ain't cuttin' it as his name.

No name has really jumped out. I had considered naming him True, since he was found at Truitt and White, the lumber yard, as a stray.
P didn't care for that name.

Help name the cat!

Current names under consideration:
P likes Angus. It makes me think "steak".
Henry. P likes, and I can live with it. A bit of a lackluster name.
Zeppo. I like, P is neutral. Zeppo is random. A bit nuts.

When he's not hiding under the couch, he's zipping all over the place. Kitty freak-outs. Attacking anything not moving. The spazzattack last about 15 minutes, then he's back under the couch for a nap.

We wonder if he needs a sibling. Most of the time he's a lone wolf just chillin'. But maybe he'd do well with a buddy?

December 6, 2006

Adding to the family....

No, no, no. I'm not knocked up.

I adopted a kitten. He's being neutered today and I bring him home after his surgery.

The little guy picked ME, I swear. He's an orange tabby. He seems super mellow, at least in the shelter environment.

Kitten!

November 20, 2006

Mellow Monday and more to come

Ahhhhhhh.

Not gloating, but I'm done working! I left there Friday night with a sense of relief.

I had to teach Saturday morning at 7am, though. But I always get extra energized when I'm teaching a Spin class. My music, my designed workout and, in a sense, it's a bit of a performance. Two hours of class flew by. Saturday afternoon I took a three hour yoga class. One of my long-time teachers does a three hour workshop once a month. It's a way to chip away at the crust in one's muscles in a deep way. A hot tub and sauna finished my Saturday off nicely.

Sunday was more mellow, until we had a special birthday spin class for one of our friends, followed by a get-together at Trader Vics in Emeryville. Love that place, despite it being expensive with marginal service.

Luna girl didn't go to her Dads on Sunday night like she usually does. She's staying here for a couple more days, until I leave for Chicago. It's nice having a dog here more than two days a week. She's far less of a freak than she once was and has settled into being a nice mellow dog.

More mellow than manic today, too. I could get used to this. Got a massage this morning and then went to yoga. Did some errands, been chilling out at home, and now off to Spin.

After I get back from Thanksgiving travel, I plan to take a look at the December calendar and squeeze in some adventure, be it a camping trip or a quick visit to Yosemite. I'm hoping for snow soon, so I can start making use of this season pass to Kirkwood. The dude is saving for his motorcycle so there's no days off for fun outta him anytime soon.

I swear my shoulders are sitting three inches lower now that I'm not a computer slave in a shitty chair in a dark cube.

La la la. I could get used to this freedom.

November 14, 2006

Too funny!

So yesterday I posted my wish to the universe to hand me a slow period of work, since I seem unable to do it for myself.

Within two hours, I received an email about more work. HA!

It's a project I worked on a while back. It's more arty than what I usually produce. It's about art, not advertising. It's working from home finding cool art to be in klassy stores. It's working from h o m e . That alone is meaningful. Yes, of course there are the usual politics, layers of approvals, and the usual. But it could start after Thanksgiving and take me through the end of March.

working from home. during snowboarding season. uh huh.

i am going to give them my highest rate and see if they bite. no loss if they don't!

November 13, 2006

The Wall

I've hit the proverbial wall. I'm done. I'm exhausted. And cranky.

I no longer care. I just want to be done.

I've been working too much this year. Giving too much of my own energy, brainpower and life. I don't know how the people around me, the staffers, do it. We're all working on one of the biggest product launches in years, and these exhausted souls have been at it for months.

I wish I could be done working in advertising. I think what I find so draining about it is that I find it meaningless. It doesn't fuel my need to do personally meaningful work that has a purpose that I find worthwhile.

Today, while riding BART into the city, I thought, "I really wonder what it would take to work in Veterinary Medicine." In high school I abandoned my call to be a Vet, thanks (or not) to some very misguided advice from my high school guidance counselor.
I want to work with animals. I want to be involved in holistic health. This is all overshadowed by my reluctance to go into debt by going back to school.

It's hard to summon the ongoing energy to work on something that doesn't feel fulfilling.

I've also realized that if I want time off, I need to turn down work. I would really like the month of December off. I'm just putting that out into the universe, since I seem to have a difficult time turning down work.

In other news:

I've really been feeling the loss of Milo lately. I've had a couple hard crying jags. He would have been eight at the end of this month. I still miss his velvety block head and weighty silent presence on a regular basis.

I have decided to take fun into my own hands. Years ago, I said I wanted to do a rafting trip through the Grand Canyon. Next year, I will do it. Alone.

I've also been talking about taking a yoga teacher training course. Next year I want to begin this. I'm not saying I will be a yoga teacher immediately afterwards, but I want to begin the process.

Starting in December, I have a permanent slot teaching Spin at Berkeley Ironworks. An evening class, even!

There's a lot of good in my life. I just need to take a step back from all this work to recognize and appreciate it.

October 19, 2006

A Long Time Ago

I'm having dinner tomorrow evening with an old friend. A person I have not seen since art school in 1989.

I can't wait. This ought to be fascinating. Google in an amazing tool.

October 17, 2006

Duh, Jen...

Newsflash!

I'm working too damn much.

I haven't been to the gym in 12 days. Sure, I've been sick. But, still. I vote for sleep over spin, and that's not right. Neither is it right that it's not light out until after 7am, which is part of my problem in waking up.

Must. Exercise. Soon.

October 13, 2006

Changing Seasons

Fall is definitely in the air. We've had our first rain. The air is chillier. Comfort foods and soups are making appearances. For me, though, the changing season is signified by getting my first cold of the season. Which would be fine, if I were like a normal person who got a cold and said cold continued on it's merry way after a few days.

No such luck. Since I was a small child, colds often morphed into something larger. Sinus infections. Bronchitis. A few times, pneumonia. All require antibiotics. Nowadays, as a stubborn adult who eschews medication and goes for alternative remedies, this usually means a week or more of being miserable until I give in and go to the doctor. This week has been filled with painful hacking coughs, shortness of breath, an asthma attack or two, and feeling like hell. My coughing is worse at night. It routinely kicks up into full gear around 4am. My dearone P has been woken nightly by my bouts of coughing. I've even woken the neighbors above me in the pre-dawn coughing spells.

My body is incredibly sore from all the coughing. I feel like I've done a thousand crunches. My psoas aches. My thighs ache. My chest and shoulders are sore to the touch.

I broke down and went to Kaiser today. Antibiotics, inhalers, codeine cough syrup. The predictable goody bag.

More importantly, I go to my acupuncturist tomorrow. I managed to score a cancellation. I should have gone sooner, the "fall tune-up" is something that should become part of my preventative routine.

Tomorrow's a big needlin' day. After the acupuncture, I go get my tattoo worked on! Haven't had a session since June, so I don't care how sick I am, I'm not about to cancel this one.

I finished a nice freelance gig yesterday. Six weeks back at my old haunt. Nice to see everyone. Amazingly, I had two agencies wanting to have me start on Monday. Nice to be able to have choices. I am incredibly grateful and surprised at how work keeps showing up. I don't even have a resume these days. In this business, if you're pleasant to work with, do a kickass job, and leave things wrapped up so someone else doesn't have to figure out loose ends, it seems to be plenty to push one's professional reputation forward and keep the work coming. All those things come easily, and I'm so so so much happier being a freelancer. I was hoping for a break, but I'm riding out this wave of work and being grateful that I can earn this kind of money and save save save.

Snowboarding season is just around the corner, and I'll be happy to have those slower months to be in Tahoe.

That's what's keeping me plowing through all this work.

Gotta go hydrate.