I am sportin' two new body mods. One fairly temporary, one fairly permanent.
I spent my birthday on an airplane, making it kind of anti-birthday to someone like me. Birthdays are a big day in my book. August 1st commenced the start of staffdom. Bothing things were taken into consideration when I....pierced my lip! I've wanted to do it for years. After the swelling goes down and healing is progressing, I'll swap out this post for a snug little hoop that will sit prettily on my lower lip, right corner. It didn't even hurt! I am learning to talk and eat with this thing. Wee bit tricky.
Also got hennaed today. Darcy from the Henna Lounge was over at Namaste Yoga in Rockridge, so I called to get adorned. My birthday present to myself! Darcy is so sweet, and so talented. It was fun! Before Nepal, Darcy will henna my knees for their luck, and also do a belly henna for preggo Justine.
I figured with a staff gig, they can't do anything about it. I had to look a little more pro as a freelancer, not now! Paul's out of town, and the body mod bug has been biting. Also bought two boxes of semi-perm hair dye, so I can still have more fun!
August 4, 2007
August 3, 2007
In a (visual) nutshell
Want to see photos from our backpacking trip of the Grand Canyon of the Tuolumne? Michelle, friend and professional shutterbabe, took these photos of our trip. Take a look.
August 1, 2007
July 20, 2007
hello!
nothing like being woken by an earthquake. a quake is like shoving a giant to-do list into one's head. for future "real" quake preparedness. then with bizzybrain, the immediate to-do list floods in. guess that put an end to my sleeping! why o why can't i be a deep sleeper like the person i share the bed with?
July 19, 2007
tease
i don't mean to tease, but very soon. i cannot jinx. news has to be rolled out carefully, in measured doses. small town, and all.
for those who have speculated: i'm neither pregnant nor getting married, though i'd saythere's equal probability of either happening.
i'm still not quite sure what to make of it all.
in other news: i leave for the east coast on saturday's red eye. one day with mom in NJ, then three days in NYC, a quick flight to Boston en route to Cape Cod, and there for two days. (I will be going to my 20th Class Reunion. Who woulda thunk it? I still wonder why I'm going.) Back to Boston to see P's sis, then on my birthday, we spend the day flying. Complete with a change of planes in...Texas. Wouldn't it only be right to join the mile high club on my birthday?
for those who have speculated: i'm neither pregnant nor getting married, though i'd saythere's equal probability of either happening.
i'm still not quite sure what to make of it all.
in other news: i leave for the east coast on saturday's red eye. one day with mom in NJ, then three days in NYC, a quick flight to Boston en route to Cape Cod, and there for two days. (I will be going to my 20th Class Reunion. Who woulda thunk it? I still wonder why I'm going.) Back to Boston to see P's sis, then on my birthday, we spend the day flying. Complete with a change of planes in...Texas. Wouldn't it only be right to join the mile high club on my birthday?
July 17, 2007
July 6, 2007
Yosemite: Part 1, The Valley
Hot morning heading out of town. Peet's stop, extra shot. Target in Livermore? Ooops, missed our exit on 99. Massive traffic jam at Park entrance. Valley closed? Craziness at Crane Flat. Overpriced gas. More traffic en route to Valley. Caffeine jitters - still! Jumped out of 4Runner and into river. Twice. Took over the driving with soggy pants. Found Jenny. Schlepped to her place. Snagged a bike and rode to the Village. Easy permit obtaining. Yelled at dumb tourists on bike path. Back to Boystown. Rafting! Last day on the river. DNC discount on raft. Took backpacks of beer onto river. Drinking. Smoking. Sun. Splashing. Paddling. Still feeling the caffeine. River was loooooow, and five in a raft. One submerged digital camera, assumed dead. Bailed on raft to slackline. Hugged Zara. Sun going below valley walls. Chilly in wet clothes. Walked back to Curry.
Drinking continued. Not me; lightweight. DNC discounted pizza. Saw lots of peeps from '04. Sleepy Michelle. Drinky Paul. Back to Boystown. Both crash. Sitting on Jenny's porch. Talking. Happy being back. Full moon tonight. Crashed before it climbed the valley walls. Slept in Jenny's bed. Twin bed for two! Little sleep for Jen. Long walk for midnight pee. Looking forward to High Country.
Drinking continued. Not me; lightweight. DNC discounted pizza. Saw lots of peeps from '04. Sleepy Michelle. Drinky Paul. Back to Boystown. Both crash. Sitting on Jenny's porch. Talking. Happy being back. Full moon tonight. Crashed before it climbed the valley walls. Slept in Jenny's bed. Twin bed for two! Little sleep for Jen. Long walk for midnight pee. Looking forward to High Country.
June 28, 2007
going home
i just finished packing. it's been a long while since i've loaded my backpack with gear. i had it down to such a science when i went backpacking every single weekend.
soon, i will be backpacking again. in a place i consider "home". it may be a bit odd to consider a national park one's home, but to me, yosemite will always feel like going home. it's been three summers since i lived there. that summer i lived there was life altering in so many ways. to me, yosemite represents freedom, simplicity, exploration and adventure. i long for all of those things, so it is with much glee that i pack to go home.
i will see dear friends i've missed. jenny. zara. who knows who else? secret crushes. the people who live there look out for one another; it's an odd community, but a tightly knit one. though i've been gone for three years, in some ways it will be like i never left. the yosemite hook-up of friends taking care of one another is still going strong.
there are places i've never been, even in the valley. hidden falls. can you believe it? i have less than 24 hours in the valley before we depart on the hiker's bus for our backpacking trip of the grand canyon of the tuolumne, but i plan to wring every last drop out of those precious minutes. jenny promises to take me to hidden falls. i want to see the indian caves again, a place very dear to me because of some special time there with paul. i'd like to go to devil's bathtub, but probably won't. i want to hang on the pizza deck on a saturday night. the river is low this year, and i want to grab the last day of rafting on the merced with beer and friends while lazily meandering the last of the trickle.
my hands smell like the mosquito repellent i packed an hour ago. the smell may be noxious to some, but for me, it's a reminder of home.
soon, i will be backpacking again. in a place i consider "home". it may be a bit odd to consider a national park one's home, but to me, yosemite will always feel like going home. it's been three summers since i lived there. that summer i lived there was life altering in so many ways. to me, yosemite represents freedom, simplicity, exploration and adventure. i long for all of those things, so it is with much glee that i pack to go home.
i will see dear friends i've missed. jenny. zara. who knows who else? secret crushes. the people who live there look out for one another; it's an odd community, but a tightly knit one. though i've been gone for three years, in some ways it will be like i never left. the yosemite hook-up of friends taking care of one another is still going strong.
there are places i've never been, even in the valley. hidden falls. can you believe it? i have less than 24 hours in the valley before we depart on the hiker's bus for our backpacking trip of the grand canyon of the tuolumne, but i plan to wring every last drop out of those precious minutes. jenny promises to take me to hidden falls. i want to see the indian caves again, a place very dear to me because of some special time there with paul. i'd like to go to devil's bathtub, but probably won't. i want to hang on the pizza deck on a saturday night. the river is low this year, and i want to grab the last day of rafting on the merced with beer and friends while lazily meandering the last of the trickle.
my hands smell like the mosquito repellent i packed an hour ago. the smell may be noxious to some, but for me, it's a reminder of home.
June 12, 2007
What would you name your traffic school?
Not to spill Paul's business, but he got a speeding ticket a while back. By paying a fine and going to traffic school he can avoid points on his license. Traffic school. Sounds dull and awful, doesn't it? Apparently whoever came up with "Comedy Traffic School" was on to something. It addressed the notion of sitting through some boring class. Looking through the Yellow Pages, Paul read off to me a long list of traffic school names that made "Comedy Traffic School" sound mundane. There was "Fun! Fun! Fun! and PIZZA!" traffic school, the was just ho-hum "Fun Fun Fun! Traffic School" and various permutations that guaranteed FUN!!!
Thinking about the marketing of traffic school made me think they're focusing too narrowly on their creative ideas for traffic school.
I want to start the "Bitches with Whips" traffic school, staff it with a few dommes. I'm certain it would be a hit in San Francisco.
Thinking about the marketing of traffic school made me think they're focusing too narrowly on their creative ideas for traffic school.
I want to start the "Bitches with Whips" traffic school, staff it with a few dommes. I'm certain it would be a hit in San Francisco.
June 11, 2007
Why are Mondays So Rough?
They just are. Today was a Big Brain day at work. Had to think a lot, juggle too much, and negotiate many large and small details. i blasted out of work around 6, hell bent on making it to a spin class. Traffic was unusually cooperative and I made it. It felt good, necessary, and right to be breaking a sweat. I was/am getting cranky. There was a palpable tension in the air today at work. That's not right for a Monday.
I'm on a crazy endless Pixies kick right now. Have listened to nothing else for two days. It won't leave my brain. Music I hear while getting tattooed etches itself in deeply. Pixies rule. How did I overlook all this goodness in my itunes?
My bike frame is built! It's been shipped off to get painted now, where it will be made uniquely mine. It's getting a purple paint job with lotus flowers and skull 'n crossbones airbrushed on. If that isn't rad, I don't know what is.
P i x i e s r u l e m y b r a i n . . . .
I'm on a crazy endless Pixies kick right now. Have listened to nothing else for two days. It won't leave my brain. Music I hear while getting tattooed etches itself in deeply. Pixies rule. How did I overlook all this goodness in my itunes?
My bike frame is built! It's been shipped off to get painted now, where it will be made uniquely mine. It's getting a purple paint job with lotus flowers and skull 'n crossbones airbrushed on. If that isn't rad, I don't know what is.
P i x i e s r u l e m y b r a i n . . . .
June 9, 2007
This week
More tattoo fun! I wasn't supposed to get inked until next weekend. I'd emailed Marcus asking him if he thought two weeks was enough time to heal before heading out on my backpacking trip over the July 4th weekend. He called me and squeezed me in, saying another week healing would be best. It's essentially done; I might need a half hour to touch some stuff up. I'm pretty happy with it. It fits much better than my old tattoo. But damn Marcus, he keeps leaving things open to the possibilites of extending my tattoos.
No more ink until after Nepal!
This week was rough. Paul found out on Wednesday that he needed surgery the next day. I'm in the middle of a big production, but I was fortunate enough to juggle my schedule so I could pick him up from the hospital Good thing I did, too. When he was leaving, he nearly passed out. I returned upstairs to find his nurse running, saying "He felt a little dizzy." I follow her to find him on a bed, shirt off and absolutely pouring sweat, mumbling incoherently about his hands going into claw-hand. Low oxygen, I noted. He was pale. Blood pressure was way down (down around where my normal BP is!, but I have almost concerningly low BP). He was experiencing symptoms of shock. I could go on an on, but it was a long evening spent reacting to Demerol. Demerol is satan. Don't take it!
Work was crazy this week, but crazy is the norm. I'm seeing a decent amount of overtime, that's for sure. Time and a half isn't such a bad thing.
Berkeley Farmer's Market this morning. Blueberries! No yoga, due to to inkage. Luna dog is lying asleep at my feet. Massage tomorrow. All in all, I can't complain.
No more ink until after Nepal!
This week was rough. Paul found out on Wednesday that he needed surgery the next day. I'm in the middle of a big production, but I was fortunate enough to juggle my schedule so I could pick him up from the hospital Good thing I did, too. When he was leaving, he nearly passed out. I returned upstairs to find his nurse running, saying "He felt a little dizzy." I follow her to find him on a bed, shirt off and absolutely pouring sweat, mumbling incoherently about his hands going into claw-hand. Low oxygen, I noted. He was pale. Blood pressure was way down (down around where my normal BP is!, but I have almost concerningly low BP). He was experiencing symptoms of shock. I could go on an on, but it was a long evening spent reacting to Demerol. Demerol is satan. Don't take it!
Work was crazy this week, but crazy is the norm. I'm seeing a decent amount of overtime, that's for sure. Time and a half isn't such a bad thing.
Berkeley Farmer's Market this morning. Blueberries! No yoga, due to to inkage. Luna dog is lying asleep at my feet. Massage tomorrow. All in all, I can't complain.
June 5, 2007
is it me?
do most people resent having to spend so much of their life working?
i do. yet i am strong, not weak. i can work my ass off. i am one of the most dilligent, organized, focused people i know.
is it because i expend so much energy on work that doesn't resonate within? does work hold such deep meaning for most people?
there's this CD (creative director) where i work. he's younger than me, and to him, it's all advertising, all the time. it's about the book, the thrill, the end product. i wish i were that passionate about work. or do i?
to me, work is a means to an end, a way to support a life. work is not life. work is work, or else work would be called "fun".
yet, it's not like i work in insurance. or something similarly dry. and i think even if i was over the moon about work, i still would not want to do it 50 hours a week. it's work. there's still life to be had.
and yet, i ponder the idea of getting a "real" job, in something i find more meaningful. i'd be making about 1/20th of what i do now, working more.
is that right? nope.
such is the conundrum of money vs. meaning, satisfaction vs. cash, freedom vs. happiness.
i do. yet i am strong, not weak. i can work my ass off. i am one of the most dilligent, organized, focused people i know.
is it because i expend so much energy on work that doesn't resonate within? does work hold such deep meaning for most people?
there's this CD (creative director) where i work. he's younger than me, and to him, it's all advertising, all the time. it's about the book, the thrill, the end product. i wish i were that passionate about work. or do i?
to me, work is a means to an end, a way to support a life. work is not life. work is work, or else work would be called "fun".
yet, it's not like i work in insurance. or something similarly dry. and i think even if i was over the moon about work, i still would not want to do it 50 hours a week. it's work. there's still life to be had.
and yet, i ponder the idea of getting a "real" job, in something i find more meaningful. i'd be making about 1/20th of what i do now, working more.
is that right? nope.
such is the conundrum of money vs. meaning, satisfaction vs. cash, freedom vs. happiness.
June 4, 2007
Ouchy Brain
It's Monday and I'm already exhausted and over this work week.
I'm starting week 4 of being back in an office 5 days a week. As of right now, I'm booked through the end of the month. That's some long hours between here and there.
Everytime I go back to work in an agency, I honestly think, "How can people work five days a week?" It's just not right. Year in, and year out. With only a few weeks of vacation a year. Five days a week. Two days to squeeze living in. Inevitably, one of those days becomes about errands, laundry, sleep, catching up on all the things that get put off while one works long hours for a string of days. Never mind commuting. Or the time away from the office checking emails and getting calls on the cel.
I can't do it. I watch people and wonder how they pull it off. I think it shows in people's posture and demeanor. But yet, this turning one's life over is what's completely normal and acceptable in our society. Anything else and you're not dedicated, or ambitious.
Why is that?
What is ambition anyway?
What keeps me going while feeling like a fish out of water in a cube farm? Plans. Plans for the life I plan to have when I take my little pile of money and run. I am always very conscious of trading a dollar amount for an hour of my life. That hour I will never get back, so I better get the most for it.
My current motivational plan is a backpacking trip in Yosemite. Paul, Michelle and I are going to do the Grand Canyon of the Tuolumne over the fourth of July weekend. I've done it once before, much too quickly to appreciate it well, and I know how deeply relaxing the daily hiking, rivers, waterfalls, and stars will be. My soul craves it like some crave love. It is love, I suppose.
I'm starting week 4 of being back in an office 5 days a week. As of right now, I'm booked through the end of the month. That's some long hours between here and there.
Everytime I go back to work in an agency, I honestly think, "How can people work five days a week?" It's just not right. Year in, and year out. With only a few weeks of vacation a year. Five days a week. Two days to squeeze living in. Inevitably, one of those days becomes about errands, laundry, sleep, catching up on all the things that get put off while one works long hours for a string of days. Never mind commuting. Or the time away from the office checking emails and getting calls on the cel.
I can't do it. I watch people and wonder how they pull it off. I think it shows in people's posture and demeanor. But yet, this turning one's life over is what's completely normal and acceptable in our society. Anything else and you're not dedicated, or ambitious.
Why is that?
What is ambition anyway?
What keeps me going while feeling like a fish out of water in a cube farm? Plans. Plans for the life I plan to have when I take my little pile of money and run. I am always very conscious of trading a dollar amount for an hour of my life. That hour I will never get back, so I better get the most for it.
My current motivational plan is a backpacking trip in Yosemite. Paul, Michelle and I are going to do the Grand Canyon of the Tuolumne over the fourth of July weekend. I've done it once before, much too quickly to appreciate it well, and I know how deeply relaxing the daily hiking, rivers, waterfalls, and stars will be. My soul craves it like some crave love. It is love, I suppose.
May 28, 2007
finally!
the thai air website FINALLY cooperated.
i believe i just purchased my RT ticket from Bangkok to Kathmandu!
this has been an early lesson in transportation matters not going smoothly as one might hope. the thai air website has had endless problems, right down to a programming error that, because i couldn't select "ms." as my prefix to my name, wouldn't allow me to proceed with booking my ticket.
the site would randomly freeze. daily. weekly. been trying forever.
emails to thai air...well, what do you expect? and to go through the Los Angeles office of thai air, the same exact ticket was $400 more. go figure.
the travel gods were with me this evening. after a couple tries, my credit card was finally accepted. (now let's hope it won't get stolen and used rampantly throughout asia!)
woo-hoo. october 4 - november 15. nepal. tibet, hopefully, too. everest base camp, possibly? annapurna circuit definitely.
stoked.
i believe i just purchased my RT ticket from Bangkok to Kathmandu!
this has been an early lesson in transportation matters not going smoothly as one might hope. the thai air website has had endless problems, right down to a programming error that, because i couldn't select "ms." as my prefix to my name, wouldn't allow me to proceed with booking my ticket.
the site would randomly freeze. daily. weekly. been trying forever.
emails to thai air...well, what do you expect? and to go through the Los Angeles office of thai air, the same exact ticket was $400 more. go figure.
the travel gods were with me this evening. after a couple tries, my credit card was finally accepted. (now let's hope it won't get stolen and used rampantly throughout asia!)
woo-hoo. october 4 - november 15. nepal. tibet, hopefully, too. everest base camp, possibly? annapurna circuit definitely.
stoked.
r a n d o m o n i a
mom left this morning. first time in years she didn't make me batshit at various points. i love my mom, but adult parent-child relationships can be...ah, interesting? challenging? AFOG. (another fuckin' opportunity for growth). that's what they are.
i have new neighbors upstairs. they turn their TV on at 6am. they listen to the stereo on heavy bass... their footsteps are much heavier than our previous neighbors. old neighbors even had delightfully exuberant pit bulls who ran laps. must meet new neighbors else they only annoy from afar.
new ink. covering my first tattoo. larger chest piece. slippery slope. pretty colors.
paul's about to lose his yoga bet. five spin classes in june. cannot wait to see this.
not exercising due to daily 9am work meeting (wtf?) and long hours. might be blowing off the morning meeting. exercise is sanity when working crazily.
breathing. it is an important thing to do.
june is around the corner. june conveys beginnings and endings. i was both married and divorced in the month of june. this year june promises long hours working. more tattoo fun. hopefully some good outdoorsy action. the possibility of my new bike being completed?
bike? ride? not hardly these days. sad.
but so much good around.
i have new neighbors upstairs. they turn their TV on at 6am. they listen to the stereo on heavy bass... their footsteps are much heavier than our previous neighbors. old neighbors even had delightfully exuberant pit bulls who ran laps. must meet new neighbors else they only annoy from afar.
new ink. covering my first tattoo. larger chest piece. slippery slope. pretty colors.
paul's about to lose his yoga bet. five spin classes in june. cannot wait to see this.
not exercising due to daily 9am work meeting (wtf?) and long hours. might be blowing off the morning meeting. exercise is sanity when working crazily.
breathing. it is an important thing to do.
june is around the corner. june conveys beginnings and endings. i was both married and divorced in the month of june. this year june promises long hours working. more tattoo fun. hopefully some good outdoorsy action. the possibility of my new bike being completed?
bike? ride? not hardly these days. sad.
but so much good around.
May 24, 2007
Start to Finish
What an annoyingly off day today was.
It started with the ECD (head creative honcho, for those who don't adspeak) directing a fucking-fuckity-fuck-fuck-fuck rant at me over some images not being in his important little hands. Uh-huh, dude, I don't care who you are, don't be an unprofessional fuck and speak to me in that manner. I don't sit so far from the front door, and you ain't paying me enough money to take your bullshit on.
Then the trip over the Bay Bridge home was The Worst I've Ever Seen. It took a full 40 minutes to get on the damn bridge.
I drove into work today because my mom came into town, and had to lug her luggage.
She's now asleep on my couch snoring as loud as an old man who has a barrel chest andhair in his ears.
Except she has neither.
But, damn. She's loud. Wonder if we'll get much sleep tonight.
TGIF tomorrow....
It started with the ECD (head creative honcho, for those who don't adspeak) directing a fucking-fuckity-fuck-fuck-fuck rant at me over some images not being in his important little hands. Uh-huh, dude, I don't care who you are, don't be an unprofessional fuck and speak to me in that manner. I don't sit so far from the front door, and you ain't paying me enough money to take your bullshit on.
Then the trip over the Bay Bridge home was The Worst I've Ever Seen. It took a full 40 minutes to get on the damn bridge.
I drove into work today because my mom came into town, and had to lug her luggage.
She's now asleep on my couch snoring as loud as an old man who has a barrel chest andhair in his ears.
Except she has neither.
But, damn. She's loud. Wonder if we'll get much sleep tonight.
TGIF tomorrow....
May 21, 2007
Ask and ye shall receive
It sounds silly to believe in the power of intention. But I do.
It happens over and over, where I ask for something, and when I really am clear about my intentions, things show up.
Like work. Until last week, I'd only worked three weeks this year. I'd had a nice long break since Thanksgiving.
I put it out there: work, please show up. I made a couple small actions in contacting a couple people and agencies whom I'd never worked with.
A gig rolled in, booking me through the end of June. Then another agency wanted to book most of my June. Funny how that happens.
When the bank account starts getting uncomfortably low, work always shows up. I trust this, and I think that's why I'm a stress-free freelancer.
But, oh man, is it rough to go from limitless free time without much responsibility to flat-out slammed silly busy. My brain actually takes a day or two to get used to the juggling state of overwhelm. It takes adjusting to squeeze life in around the edges of work. Weekends become all about errands and laundry. I honestly don't know how staffers do it on a year in, year out basis. I can do it in the short-term because I'm paid hourly and anything is possible for short stints.
Last week was a doozy. The agency I'm working at now is new, and it's like a hip ad agency thrown into a dot-com blender. I easily saw 55 hours worked last week. I was exhausted and drained at the end of each day, and cumulatively, at the end of the week.
Time to suck it up, kiddo. Remember: Nepal. That's what I keep telling myself.
It happens over and over, where I ask for something, and when I really am clear about my intentions, things show up.
Like work. Until last week, I'd only worked three weeks this year. I'd had a nice long break since Thanksgiving.
I put it out there: work, please show up. I made a couple small actions in contacting a couple people and agencies whom I'd never worked with.
A gig rolled in, booking me through the end of June. Then another agency wanted to book most of my June. Funny how that happens.
When the bank account starts getting uncomfortably low, work always shows up. I trust this, and I think that's why I'm a stress-free freelancer.
But, oh man, is it rough to go from limitless free time without much responsibility to flat-out slammed silly busy. My brain actually takes a day or two to get used to the juggling state of overwhelm. It takes adjusting to squeeze life in around the edges of work. Weekends become all about errands and laundry. I honestly don't know how staffers do it on a year in, year out basis. I can do it in the short-term because I'm paid hourly and anything is possible for short stints.
Last week was a doozy. The agency I'm working at now is new, and it's like a hip ad agency thrown into a dot-com blender. I easily saw 55 hours worked last week. I was exhausted and drained at the end of each day, and cumulatively, at the end of the week.
Time to suck it up, kiddo. Remember: Nepal. That's what I keep telling myself.
May 13, 2007
It's always changing
I was looking forward to an exciting May. All kinds of adventures.
It's a good reminder to not get attached to things. For the most part, that has been easy to do. The Grizzly Peak Century was last weekend. I rode it, but bailed around 57 miles. My allergies have been active recently, and this resulted in my asthma flaring up on the ride. I knew it wasn't smart to do the full 108 even though I had an inhaler. And then Mark's chain broke. That sealed the deal. Mark had been an angel and was hanging back with me while I was slow poking it. With a broken chain, thus concluded our ride. We called Paul to come get us in Moraga.
Oh well. It was a lovely day for riding. 55+ miles plus isn't too shabby. But I'm starting to feel lame....because now I can't do the Davis Double either.
Remember how I was wanting to get some work? It's here. I went in one day to get aquainted, and tomorrow I start for real. Looks like they need me through June. I am walking into some heavy disorganization. I know this place to be demanding and stressful and 24/7. I will be grateful for the work and shut up (for now). Even if I did lower my rate a bit.
So this week will be nuts and I can't cut out early on Friday or be unreachable on Saturday. So it was with much regret that I had to tell Mark I wasn't riding Davis. Ultra-lame cause I had bugged him to register and ride it with me.
Oh, and the Yosemite trip? That got bagged, too. Sadly. Paul's not been bounding back in his recovery quite as fast as we'd hoped. It wouldn't have been fun, he would have parked it by the river and not moved. We'll go another time.
I did manage a hike this weekend. Tennessee Valley over to Rodeo Beach. Wonderful. Amazing views. Can't believe I've not done that one before.
Now that I'll be working, I have to manage to get exercise in before work. Six a.m. spin classes just aren't fun for me. But I gotta do them. I realized my tip-top fitness has been slipping because of being in a relationship and living with Paul. No blame, it's just been some choices I've made.
It's just time to make some different choices.
It's a good reminder to not get attached to things. For the most part, that has been easy to do. The Grizzly Peak Century was last weekend. I rode it, but bailed around 57 miles. My allergies have been active recently, and this resulted in my asthma flaring up on the ride. I knew it wasn't smart to do the full 108 even though I had an inhaler. And then Mark's chain broke. That sealed the deal. Mark had been an angel and was hanging back with me while I was slow poking it. With a broken chain, thus concluded our ride. We called Paul to come get us in Moraga.
Oh well. It was a lovely day for riding. 55+ miles plus isn't too shabby. But I'm starting to feel lame....because now I can't do the Davis Double either.
Remember how I was wanting to get some work? It's here. I went in one day to get aquainted, and tomorrow I start for real. Looks like they need me through June. I am walking into some heavy disorganization. I know this place to be demanding and stressful and 24/7. I will be grateful for the work and shut up (for now). Even if I did lower my rate a bit.
So this week will be nuts and I can't cut out early on Friday or be unreachable on Saturday. So it was with much regret that I had to tell Mark I wasn't riding Davis. Ultra-lame cause I had bugged him to register and ride it with me.
Oh, and the Yosemite trip? That got bagged, too. Sadly. Paul's not been bounding back in his recovery quite as fast as we'd hoped. It wouldn't have been fun, he would have parked it by the river and not moved. We'll go another time.
I did manage a hike this weekend. Tennessee Valley over to Rodeo Beach. Wonderful. Amazing views. Can't believe I've not done that one before.
Now that I'll be working, I have to manage to get exercise in before work. Six a.m. spin classes just aren't fun for me. But I gotta do them. I realized my tip-top fitness has been slipping because of being in a relationship and living with Paul. No blame, it's just been some choices I've made.
It's just time to make some different choices.
May 1, 2007
Defensiveness
Defensiveness is the bastard child of shame.
that's the difference between sensitivity and defensiveness.
that's the difference between sensitivity and defensiveness.
April 30, 2007
Get Ready
May is going to be an excellent month.
1. Yosemite Trip!
2. Bike event(s)
3. New tattoo work begins
4. Mom comes to visit
5.Going on a citizen ride-along with Oakland Police Dept
6. Work will definitely show up
1. Yosemite Trip!
2. Bike event(s)
3. New tattoo work begins
4. Mom comes to visit
5.Going on a citizen ride-along with Oakland Police Dept
6. Work will definitely show up
April 21, 2007
April 19, 2007
Yes, a Chipmunk.
Most people don't know this, but I have been working with a Life Purpose Coach. I know that advertising work allows me great freedom, but the work isn't meaningful to me, in fact, it is rather the opposite. I feel strongly that if I must work, it should be doing something that is either beneficial in some capacity, or is personally meaningful.
So we've been going through various exercises, and this most recent one was a guided meditation done to a CD. Since I am not at all religious and don't have a god, this was my chosen method to access my "soul". The CD presents itself as a means to visualize yourself sitting in a beautiful setting, then walking down a path and coming upon what is to be your sacred area. One visualizes various things. (I'm rather reluctant to post my entire notes from the sitting, but they're pretty Timothy Leary-ish.) This methodology assumes you have a Protector (aka Ego) that wants you to be safe, protected and happy. You conjure up your Protector, and ask them to step outside the sacred circle you've put yourself into.
Any guesses what my Protector emerged as while I did this visualized meditation?
A Chipmunk. Yes, you read that correctly.
Where did that come from? Okay, so I go on with the rest of the guided meditation (which was quite visual, trippy and had interesting bodily sensations). After I was finished, I was very intrigued about this chipmunk. It seemed so random.
Thanks to the power of the internet, I was able to look up the symbolism of chipmunks. This particular website gave me my totem animal. Here is the description of my Chipmunk Totem:
Chipmunk, like squirrel, embodies the quality of trust. They have little fear of people and are often found in rural areas, city parks and in the wild. Chipmunks are very curious and take the time to explore everything that comes across their path. They are inquisitive, fearless and playful. They do what they want to do in their own time frame. They are quite vocal often drawing attention to themselves. Chipmunk medicine people will not tolerate being told what to do or when to do it.
They make good leaders and spokespersons.
When a chipmunk is twelve weeks old they have the ability to be on their own. The symbolism of the number twelve or the combined numbers of one and two should be studied by those with this totem. Cycles occur regularly in a persons life and those with chipmunk medicine will often find that changes will occur in their life approximately every twelve weeks or twelve months. Knowing this gives you forewarning and the opportunity for preparedness.
By watching the chipmunks behavior much can be learned. They appear to scamper to and fro always in a hurry to get somewhere. Starting in one direction, circling around and arriving back where they started from. There is no detail that goes unnoticed by the chipmunk as they circle around andsee beyond the obvious. Chipmunk teaches the art of observation and
appropriate movement.
Chipmunks have an air of independence and certainty about them. Their inquisitive nature leads them into unexplored territory and their detailed mind leaves no stone unturned.
If chipmunk is your totem pay attention to how your energy is being used. Are you thoughts constructive or destructive? Are your fears keeping you from playing and enjoying life? Are you in charge of your life or have you given you authority over to another?
Chipmunk is the messenger of many realms. If this is your totem you are on your way to self discovery.
This was spot on. Fascinating. Telling.
When I spoke to my Coach this morning, we went through this because I identify with a lot of what is described above. It made sense to her that my protector showed up like this, because this is part of the conscious self, the ego, etc.
There was one other part of the exercises that I couldn't bring myself to do. It involves some journaling and asking questions of the "soul" or whatever source it was that gave me my last bit of information ("it" did tell me a "purpose", albeit a vague one, so I need to go back and ask some additional questions.)
This journaling exercise cannot be done by me in my livingroom. Or indoors. I have been having dreams about needing to go back to Yosemite. So there is where I will go to ask these questions, sitting by a river. How Herman Hesse, huh? I have long been drawn to listening to the river rushing and all the voices within, so I will go to Yosemite and sit. And ask. Ask the river.
A weekend has been carved out to go to Yosemite anyway, since I have been getting the jones.
Uh-huh. Jen's going a little crazy, a little too much granola for breakfast, a little woo-woo. Poor, dotty girl you might be thinking.
Hey, man, a chipmunk has got my back. Can you do better than that?
So we've been going through various exercises, and this most recent one was a guided meditation done to a CD. Since I am not at all religious and don't have a god, this was my chosen method to access my "soul". The CD presents itself as a means to visualize yourself sitting in a beautiful setting, then walking down a path and coming upon what is to be your sacred area. One visualizes various things. (I'm rather reluctant to post my entire notes from the sitting, but they're pretty Timothy Leary-ish.) This methodology assumes you have a Protector (aka Ego) that wants you to be safe, protected and happy. You conjure up your Protector, and ask them to step outside the sacred circle you've put yourself into.
Any guesses what my Protector emerged as while I did this visualized meditation?
A Chipmunk. Yes, you read that correctly.
Where did that come from? Okay, so I go on with the rest of the guided meditation (which was quite visual, trippy and had interesting bodily sensations). After I was finished, I was very intrigued about this chipmunk. It seemed so random.
Thanks to the power of the internet, I was able to look up the symbolism of chipmunks. This particular website gave me my totem animal. Here is the description of my Chipmunk Totem:
Chipmunk, like squirrel, embodies the quality of trust. They have little fear of people and are often found in rural areas, city parks and in the wild. Chipmunks are very curious and take the time to explore everything that comes across their path. They are inquisitive, fearless and playful. They do what they want to do in their own time frame. They are quite vocal often drawing attention to themselves. Chipmunk medicine people will not tolerate being told what to do or when to do it.
They make good leaders and spokespersons.
When a chipmunk is twelve weeks old they have the ability to be on their own. The symbolism of the number twelve or the combined numbers of one and two should be studied by those with this totem. Cycles occur regularly in a persons life and those with chipmunk medicine will often find that changes will occur in their life approximately every twelve weeks or twelve months. Knowing this gives you forewarning and the opportunity for preparedness.
By watching the chipmunks behavior much can be learned. They appear to scamper to and fro always in a hurry to get somewhere. Starting in one direction, circling around and arriving back where they started from. There is no detail that goes unnoticed by the chipmunk as they circle around andsee beyond the obvious. Chipmunk teaches the art of observation and
appropriate movement.
Chipmunks have an air of independence and certainty about them. Their inquisitive nature leads them into unexplored territory and their detailed mind leaves no stone unturned.
If chipmunk is your totem pay attention to how your energy is being used. Are you thoughts constructive or destructive? Are your fears keeping you from playing and enjoying life? Are you in charge of your life or have you given you authority over to another?
Chipmunk is the messenger of many realms. If this is your totem you are on your way to self discovery.
This was spot on. Fascinating. Telling.
When I spoke to my Coach this morning, we went through this because I identify with a lot of what is described above. It made sense to her that my protector showed up like this, because this is part of the conscious self, the ego, etc.
There was one other part of the exercises that I couldn't bring myself to do. It involves some journaling and asking questions of the "soul" or whatever source it was that gave me my last bit of information ("it" did tell me a "purpose", albeit a vague one, so I need to go back and ask some additional questions.)
This journaling exercise cannot be done by me in my livingroom. Or indoors. I have been having dreams about needing to go back to Yosemite. So there is where I will go to ask these questions, sitting by a river. How Herman Hesse, huh? I have long been drawn to listening to the river rushing and all the voices within, so I will go to Yosemite and sit. And ask. Ask the river.
A weekend has been carved out to go to Yosemite anyway, since I have been getting the jones.
Uh-huh. Jen's going a little crazy, a little too much granola for breakfast, a little woo-woo. Poor, dotty girl you might be thinking.
Hey, man, a chipmunk has got my back. Can you do better than that?
April 18, 2007
Need my fix one more time...
Like a junkie, I need one more. It seems as if I'm going to get it.
It's snowing. Kirkwood got six inches yesterday, and if the forecast remains true, there ought to be another six or so inches for Friday. So we're going to make the drive and get in what will likely be the last riding day of the season. I thought the season was done, but Mother Nature seems to be delivering a late season bag o' tricks.
Michelle called me excited to go up on Friday. I convinced P to take the day off, too. Road trip! It's a long day, up and back, but when it's good it's worth it.
My dilemma: I got a new board. Haven't ridden it because the season went to shit. Do I ride it? There will be potentially exposed rocks and junk to scratch up my new board. Or do I leave it tucked in the back of the closet until next season? I think I'll bring it, and leave my options open. I can do this, since we'll all be piling in my car.
(Hello, universe! Just because I'm having a ridiculous amount of fun playing doesn't mean you can't bring on some money-making work. Thanks!)
It's snowing. Kirkwood got six inches yesterday, and if the forecast remains true, there ought to be another six or so inches for Friday. So we're going to make the drive and get in what will likely be the last riding day of the season. I thought the season was done, but Mother Nature seems to be delivering a late season bag o' tricks.
Michelle called me excited to go up on Friday. I convinced P to take the day off, too. Road trip! It's a long day, up and back, but when it's good it's worth it.
My dilemma: I got a new board. Haven't ridden it because the season went to shit. Do I ride it? There will be potentially exposed rocks and junk to scratch up my new board. Or do I leave it tucked in the back of the closet until next season? I think I'll bring it, and leave my options open. I can do this, since we'll all be piling in my car.
(Hello, universe! Just because I'm having a ridiculous amount of fun playing doesn't mean you can't bring on some money-making work. Thanks!)
April 15, 2007
Whew!
I passed.
What a relief. I am supposed to guide an outing next weekend, so my certification had to be current. Medical stuff is more in the forefront of my mind than it has been for a while. This information can be life or death in the backcountry (and also when in Nepal), so it's not the kind of thing one wants to lose fluency in.
I've been stressin' this most of last week. Life can resume now.
(Um, hello to the universe: need some adbucks, could use some work. please?)
What a relief. I am supposed to guide an outing next weekend, so my certification had to be current. Medical stuff is more in the forefront of my mind than it has been for a while. This information can be life or death in the backcountry (and also when in Nepal), so it's not the kind of thing one wants to lose fluency in.
I've been stressin' this most of last week. Life can resume now.
(Um, hello to the universe: need some adbucks, could use some work. please?)
April 11, 2007
Why can't REI sell REAL bras?
Oh, I am so not a Real Girl. It's a sad fact that if an item in my wardrobe didn't come from REI, then it's from a thrift store. I confess: I hate shopping for clothes if they're for me. Thus, I end up buying all my clothes at REI, not only because of the convenience factor, but also because my employee discount kind of makes paying full retail anywhere seem like a waste of money. And yes, sure, the clothes REI sells kinda fits in with my outdoorsy-crunchy look I seem to have landed into because I could care less about spending time on coordinating outfits and looking good. My personal clothes-buying philosophy is that I should be able to get dressed in the dark, that every shirt should go with every pair of pants and that everything is neutral enough that I don't need to spend time getting matchy. Pretty seems to be a word that eludes me, and I'm okay with that.
Anyway, REI doesn't carry real bras. They carry sports bras, and I do have self-worth enough to not parade around a uniboob at all times. I desperately need new bras. I detest bra shopping in the worst way. It is only second to going to the dentist. The only way to make the bra buying experience somewhat bearable is for me to commit spending fat cash on bras, and to go to Nordstrom's. They have bra chicks - women whose job it is to fit you, then run in and out and bring you bras. This is an unbelievably fantastic service, because part of what I hate about bra shopping is trying on bras that don't fit, getting dressed again to go find more possibilities, and then repeating ad nauseum until I find a couple that work. The bra fitters get a proper fit, find bras that work for one's size and shape, and then bring them to you and adjust straps, etc. It's lovely because it cuts the shopping time dramatically, and aside from the pain of plunking down the credit card, it takes much of the misery out of bra shopping.
Despite my glowing testimonial of bra shopping at Nordstrom's, I can't drag my ass there to get much needed bras. I have three and they're falling apart. How un-sexy is that? Nevermind that I also just go for the industrial-strength bra because finding support and sexy hardly go together when you're looking for a bra in my size. Or else I just can't give it the time it would take for the planets to align into one perfect fitting, sexy, overpriced scrap of fabric and underwire.
Today I went into SF. I intended to go to Nordstrom's. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. But I went by REI, mostly to say hi to my boss there. I left with a bag of purchases, all Prana: a cute strappy tank top, a lacy skirt and a pair of stretchy zip-off convertible pants. Good lord, if they could just sell bras.
Go figure, I somehow managed to do an unusually girlie thing today. I dove back into the higher maintenance world of the brazilian wax. Ostensibly, it's because cycling season is here and this results in less ingrown hairs when I spend countless hours in spandex shorts. But there's something nice about the tidy smoothness. Hello? I can get hair stripped from my girlie bits, but I can't go buy a couple bras.
How lame is that?
Anyway, REI doesn't carry real bras. They carry sports bras, and I do have self-worth enough to not parade around a uniboob at all times. I desperately need new bras. I detest bra shopping in the worst way. It is only second to going to the dentist. The only way to make the bra buying experience somewhat bearable is for me to commit spending fat cash on bras, and to go to Nordstrom's. They have bra chicks - women whose job it is to fit you, then run in and out and bring you bras. This is an unbelievably fantastic service, because part of what I hate about bra shopping is trying on bras that don't fit, getting dressed again to go find more possibilities, and then repeating ad nauseum until I find a couple that work. The bra fitters get a proper fit, find bras that work for one's size and shape, and then bring them to you and adjust straps, etc. It's lovely because it cuts the shopping time dramatically, and aside from the pain of plunking down the credit card, it takes much of the misery out of bra shopping.
Despite my glowing testimonial of bra shopping at Nordstrom's, I can't drag my ass there to get much needed bras. I have three and they're falling apart. How un-sexy is that? Nevermind that I also just go for the industrial-strength bra because finding support and sexy hardly go together when you're looking for a bra in my size. Or else I just can't give it the time it would take for the planets to align into one perfect fitting, sexy, overpriced scrap of fabric and underwire.
Today I went into SF. I intended to go to Nordstrom's. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. But I went by REI, mostly to say hi to my boss there. I left with a bag of purchases, all Prana: a cute strappy tank top, a lacy skirt and a pair of stretchy zip-off convertible pants. Good lord, if they could just sell bras.
Go figure, I somehow managed to do an unusually girlie thing today. I dove back into the higher maintenance world of the brazilian wax. Ostensibly, it's because cycling season is here and this results in less ingrown hairs when I spend countless hours in spandex shorts. But there's something nice about the tidy smoothness. Hello? I can get hair stripped from my girlie bits, but I can't go buy a couple bras.
How lame is that?
April 7, 2007
Sloth Returns
A rainy day. A long afternoon spent in bed. A long nap.
Several Dark 'n Stormys. Potentially lethal, those. Sure, yes, still vegan. But sweet potato fries with curried mayo at 10pm?
Do not redeliver those pre-fast pounds, please.
Several Dark 'n Stormys. Potentially lethal, those. Sure, yes, still vegan. But sweet potato fries with curried mayo at 10pm?
Do not redeliver those pre-fast pounds, please.
April 2, 2007
Not in a morbid way...
This topic has been on my mind lately. It's a recurring topic of thought. I wish there was some way to incorporate that into my life's work.
This has also been an ongoing interest of mine, ever since witnessing a family member's death. I wish I had it in me to make the time commitment to this program.
It's sad we can treat our pets humanely, but not those we love.
This has also been an ongoing interest of mine, ever since witnessing a family member's death. I wish I had it in me to make the time commitment to this program.
It's sad we can treat our pets humanely, but not those we love.
March 30, 2007
Transitions
Thus concludes the fast.
here's a wrap-up:
On the eve of Day 8, Paul and I agree to start making the transition off the fast. We's already stocked up on our oranges for juice. We'd each had a few troublesome symptoms arise that made us think there would be no additional benefit of going two more days. No Smooth Move tea for me tonight, though P enjoyed his.
Day 9:
Down a half pound. Officially below my move-in-with-Paul weight. Let's try to stay there now.
We each did one last salt water consumption in the morning. Paul juiced a bunch of oranges for me to have throughout the day. He's so sweet and good to me. Juice was electrifyingly good. Explosively flavorful. Pulpy, the way I like it. I felt some rumblings in my gut after drinking. Some quick trips to the loo were necessary. Didn't spin, thought I would go to yoga but didn't even do that. Very uneventful day. I did figure out the great mystery of my moutain bike's front shock not taking air, so all was not lost.
Paul made vegetable soup stock that evening. What can I say? It was unbelievable. So good. Rich, complex, almost creamy on the tongue even though it was a clear broth. He'd cooked lentils in the broth too. After the broth had cooled, there sat a pile of the softened stock vegetables and lentils as a mass lump. Some might toss it, but we picked and savored. These veggies would go back into the stock for our veggie soup tomorrow.
Day 10:
Go figure, I gain half a pound when I step on the scale this morning. Who knew you could gain weight on orange juice?
No Smooth Move tea + no salt water = you guessed it: nothing!
Paul juiced a bunch of blood oranges for me. So pretty! I'm liking this fresh squeezed juice. It tastes like spring in a glass. After taking Luna to the vet, I had a small cup of the soup before heading off to yoga class. The soup was so good. Simple, but quite flavorful. Soup is always a good thing in my book. But I've gotta tell you, I felt pretty decadent sitting there with my glass of blood orange juice and a cup of soup. I felt like I was living the high life!
After yoga, had some more soup. This time with a rye cracker. Chewing! I was back to chewing. I felt pretty full immediately, and slightly bloated. Fiber! With some nutrients in me, I felt the fog that had inhabited my brain for the past week or so begin to left. Seriously. I felt more capable of quick thinking, less hippified and s l o w. I also felt like I had some real energy for teaching tonight.
Spin class was great. No issues. Legs worked. Paul and I made what was an absolutely delicious salad. Avocado, fancy cut celery, shredded carrot, black beans, walnuts, chopped Italian parsley, dried cranberries and mixed greens tossed with Goddess dressing. (Bad name, good stuff. And vegan.) Chewing slowly and savoring. We kept commenting how good the food tasted and noticed individual flavors. And in true Paul fashion: dessert. Sliced bannanas dipped in melted dark chocolate.
Oh. My. God. Even dark chocolate tasted remarkably sweet. So lucious and smooth and perfect.
We're back on food. Yay!
Today, Day 11: Fully eating.
For breakfast I had almonds soaked in water overnight. (I can't describe how this changes the almonds, but it's wonderful. I learned to love soaked almonds on a Spirit Rock meditation retreat.) Had a rye cracker spread with soy yogurt, and a sliced apple.
Oh, and green tea. I am going to try the green tea thing for a while instead of coffee. I so love my coffee with chocolate soy milk every morning, but it seems almost wrong to go straight back into that habit. I feel like eating lighter, and the way I make my coffee is mud-like. Thick and almost pour-able.
I feel well-equipped to teach a two hour class tonight, thankfully. So much so, that I'm recycling a super-hard class filled with long accelerations for tonight.
My wise friend Marty asked me what I got out of the fast. Here's what I told him: "I got to re-experience the simple pleasure of what food tastes like and how enjoyable it is! I got a break from sugar and caffeine and a chance to restart/rebreak some habits. I don't know about feeling "cleansed" or anything, but it was an interesting break. I have SO much more energy, but it's subtle."
here's a wrap-up:
On the eve of Day 8, Paul and I agree to start making the transition off the fast. We's already stocked up on our oranges for juice. We'd each had a few troublesome symptoms arise that made us think there would be no additional benefit of going two more days. No Smooth Move tea for me tonight, though P enjoyed his.
Day 9:
Down a half pound. Officially below my move-in-with-Paul weight. Let's try to stay there now.
We each did one last salt water consumption in the morning. Paul juiced a bunch of oranges for me to have throughout the day. He's so sweet and good to me. Juice was electrifyingly good. Explosively flavorful. Pulpy, the way I like it. I felt some rumblings in my gut after drinking. Some quick trips to the loo were necessary. Didn't spin, thought I would go to yoga but didn't even do that. Very uneventful day. I did figure out the great mystery of my moutain bike's front shock not taking air, so all was not lost.
Paul made vegetable soup stock that evening. What can I say? It was unbelievable. So good. Rich, complex, almost creamy on the tongue even though it was a clear broth. He'd cooked lentils in the broth too. After the broth had cooled, there sat a pile of the softened stock vegetables and lentils as a mass lump. Some might toss it, but we picked and savored. These veggies would go back into the stock for our veggie soup tomorrow.
Day 10:
Go figure, I gain half a pound when I step on the scale this morning. Who knew you could gain weight on orange juice?
No Smooth Move tea + no salt water = you guessed it: nothing!
Paul juiced a bunch of blood oranges for me. So pretty! I'm liking this fresh squeezed juice. It tastes like spring in a glass. After taking Luna to the vet, I had a small cup of the soup before heading off to yoga class. The soup was so good. Simple, but quite flavorful. Soup is always a good thing in my book. But I've gotta tell you, I felt pretty decadent sitting there with my glass of blood orange juice and a cup of soup. I felt like I was living the high life!
After yoga, had some more soup. This time with a rye cracker. Chewing! I was back to chewing. I felt pretty full immediately, and slightly bloated. Fiber! With some nutrients in me, I felt the fog that had inhabited my brain for the past week or so begin to left. Seriously. I felt more capable of quick thinking, less hippified and s l o w. I also felt like I had some real energy for teaching tonight.
Spin class was great. No issues. Legs worked. Paul and I made what was an absolutely delicious salad. Avocado, fancy cut celery, shredded carrot, black beans, walnuts, chopped Italian parsley, dried cranberries and mixed greens tossed with Goddess dressing. (Bad name, good stuff. And vegan.) Chewing slowly and savoring. We kept commenting how good the food tasted and noticed individual flavors. And in true Paul fashion: dessert. Sliced bannanas dipped in melted dark chocolate.
Oh. My. God. Even dark chocolate tasted remarkably sweet. So lucious and smooth and perfect.
We're back on food. Yay!
Today, Day 11: Fully eating.
For breakfast I had almonds soaked in water overnight. (I can't describe how this changes the almonds, but it's wonderful. I learned to love soaked almonds on a Spirit Rock meditation retreat.) Had a rye cracker spread with soy yogurt, and a sliced apple.
Oh, and green tea. I am going to try the green tea thing for a while instead of coffee. I so love my coffee with chocolate soy milk every morning, but it seems almost wrong to go straight back into that habit. I feel like eating lighter, and the way I make my coffee is mud-like. Thick and almost pour-able.
I feel well-equipped to teach a two hour class tonight, thankfully. So much so, that I'm recycling a super-hard class filled with long accelerations for tonight.
My wise friend Marty asked me what I got out of the fast. Here's what I told him: "I got to re-experience the simple pleasure of what food tastes like and how enjoyable it is! I got a break from sugar and caffeine and a chance to restart/rebreak some habits. I don't know about feeling "cleansed" or anything, but it was an interesting break. I have SO much more energy, but it's subtle."
March 27, 2007
Day 8: Slip and Fizzle
So I went to a noon spin class. I walked out the front door, forgetting my water bottles.
Didn't realize this detail until a second before class was to start. What to do? Nathan, my fellow spin instructor, offered me a "water". Turns out to be one of those Glaceau Vitamin Water things. A tiny bit of sugar and froot flavor. What could I do? Dehydrate and say no? So I thanked him and took the bottle, after all, it had some electrolytes and vitamins and those could do me some good.
First sip: WHOA! Tasting something other than lemonade was a trip. It was way sweet. Not sugary, but sweet, almost electrifyingly so. I am guessing the first foods and flavors I taste post-fast will be the same way. I drank it, feeling slightly guilty. Hello, Jen! It's water! Not like you pounded a whole cake or anything!
The other thing of note: my muscles have absolutely NO ability to recover right now. I went to spin yesterday, keeping it pretty moderate in the 80-85% HR zone. Nothing crazy, my average for the hour ride was under 80%. Today, though, my HR wouldn't stay up, my legs felt incredibly heavy, especially my inner thighs. I went through the motions of the class without really digging in a doing the super hard work; my legs just weren't there. I mean it. They were fighting me.
Makes sense. Eight days into a fast, with back-to-back spinning. No protein. No "real" nutrients for my muscles to recover.
Tomorrow will be a yoga only day. I'm a little concerned about Thursday and Friday, but I can modify my way through it.
Talked to one of my fellow spinners who is a MD psychiatrist and he said what I was doing was bad for my body, and that I was likely in ketosis (wasn't it cool to be in ketosis during the Zone craze?) and that my body is in startvation mode, so as soon as I start eating again it will take those calories and store them immediately as fat. Hmmm, wonder if that is true?
Didn't realize this detail until a second before class was to start. What to do? Nathan, my fellow spin instructor, offered me a "water". Turns out to be one of those Glaceau Vitamin Water things. A tiny bit of sugar and froot flavor. What could I do? Dehydrate and say no? So I thanked him and took the bottle, after all, it had some electrolytes and vitamins and those could do me some good.
First sip: WHOA! Tasting something other than lemonade was a trip. It was way sweet. Not sugary, but sweet, almost electrifyingly so. I am guessing the first foods and flavors I taste post-fast will be the same way. I drank it, feeling slightly guilty. Hello, Jen! It's water! Not like you pounded a whole cake or anything!
The other thing of note: my muscles have absolutely NO ability to recover right now. I went to spin yesterday, keeping it pretty moderate in the 80-85% HR zone. Nothing crazy, my average for the hour ride was under 80%. Today, though, my HR wouldn't stay up, my legs felt incredibly heavy, especially my inner thighs. I went through the motions of the class without really digging in a doing the super hard work; my legs just weren't there. I mean it. They were fighting me.
Makes sense. Eight days into a fast, with back-to-back spinning. No protein. No "real" nutrients for my muscles to recover.
Tomorrow will be a yoga only day. I'm a little concerned about Thursday and Friday, but I can modify my way through it.
Talked to one of my fellow spinners who is a MD psychiatrist and he said what I was doing was bad for my body, and that I was likely in ketosis (wasn't it cool to be in ketosis during the Zone craze?) and that my body is in startvation mode, so as soon as I start eating again it will take those calories and store them immediately as fat. Hmmm, wonder if that is true?
Day 7 was yesterday
I said I'd make it 7 days, and I did. It changes from moment to moment, but at this moment I'm going for the full 10. My only concern in cutting it short or modifying the fast with some protein consumption is my exercise. Thursday night I teach spin as normal, and Friday night I teach a two hour spin class. This would be the day I get orange juice.
Yesterday was fine. The rain killed our plans for a hike, so I went to spin instead. My spinfriends as all puzzled and question-y as to why I am doing this. I am thinking of food. Looking at pictures, and reading restaurant menus on the web. We looked at a vegan cookbook and chose Paul's first post-fast baking treat. I am eyeing the jar of pickles in the fridge, wanting to slice them up thin and savor their salty goodness.
Paul cleaned out the fridge so when we do start eating, it's clean and has plenty of space for the healthy goodness that will take up residency. I am hoping he will stay interested in eating vegan and/or healthy, for selfish reasons; I stand a better chance of cleaning up my diet if he's on the same page. When Ben + Jerry walk through the front door with him, it's usually all over for me.
I feel a little colder. A little more reclusive. A bit more inwardly focused. And definitely less congested. I haven't breathed this well through my right nostril in a long while. Dairy really isn't our friend, is it? Without meal prep, it leaves us time for a little more fun.
Plus, it's been nice to see the scale moving downward. Eight pounds as of this morning (day 8). Almost down to cycling weight, and just under the weight I was when I moved in with Paul. I have this delusional idea that I want to lose another 10 pounds or so before I leave for Nepal.
But I live with a guy who cooks and bakes. Right.
Yesterday was fine. The rain killed our plans for a hike, so I went to spin instead. My spinfriends as all puzzled and question-y as to why I am doing this. I am thinking of food. Looking at pictures, and reading restaurant menus on the web. We looked at a vegan cookbook and chose Paul's first post-fast baking treat. I am eyeing the jar of pickles in the fridge, wanting to slice them up thin and savor their salty goodness.
Paul cleaned out the fridge so when we do start eating, it's clean and has plenty of space for the healthy goodness that will take up residency. I am hoping he will stay interested in eating vegan and/or healthy, for selfish reasons; I stand a better chance of cleaning up my diet if he's on the same page. When Ben + Jerry walk through the front door with him, it's usually all over for me.
I feel a little colder. A little more reclusive. A bit more inwardly focused. And definitely less congested. I haven't breathed this well through my right nostril in a long while. Dairy really isn't our friend, is it? Without meal prep, it leaves us time for a little more fun.
Plus, it's been nice to see the scale moving downward. Eight pounds as of this morning (day 8). Almost down to cycling weight, and just under the weight I was when I moved in with Paul. I have this delusional idea that I want to lose another 10 pounds or so before I leave for Nepal.
But I live with a guy who cooks and bakes. Right.
March 25, 2007
Days 5 and 6 of the Clean-o-Rama
Yesterday was a particularly active day, after my fucktard neighbor had a loud, late party; needless to say I didn't sleep great. Seems that no matter what time I go to bed, I'm up with the sun, or with Splat's help before sunrise. Anyway, yesterday Paul and I went to a yoga class which was 1.5 hours. Then we went for a small hike in a park I've never been into. It was so much less crowded than Redwood, yet still on Skyline. It had gorgeous redwoods, and is mountain bike friendly! The closest thing to good single-track in the East Bay. The fog spilled in during our hike making it chilly. We chugged down a nalgene of lemonade between the two of us. That was a lot of activity for a fasting person, and while it felt fine, I am conscious of energy spent against a caloric deficit. I bailed on going to see some live music, figuring I didn't have the energy to be that social with friends.
Speaking of caloric deficit, I didn't do this to lose weight. (That's an added bonus.) But I've lost six pounds thus fast. Nothing yesterday (!?) and only a half pound today. Maybe spinning is the magic combination for those 2.5 lb days?
I have noticed that I am more belchy. Since I can no longer burp the alphabet, this doesn't do much for me. I also notice that I am expelling mucus. After the salt water yumminess every morning, I seem to cough up mucus, and my sinuses loosen a bit. Since I do a saline wash up my nose everyday anyway, this is a lotta salt flushing. The departure method of said mucus makes sense. My respiratory system has always been my weak link. So those are the noticable side effects.
As for today, it's been a very low energy day. Three flights of stairs to the laundry room left my legs feeling heavy. I feel a little sore from yoga yesterday. Not overly talkative (which may come as a relief to Paul). Don't feel like the sharpest tack. A little dull. I haven't had the blissout that Paul has. It hasn't been challenging, but I haven't noticed improved sleep or life on the puffy cloud. My sense of smell is definitely more acute.
If tomorrow continues to be this low energy, I may try to add in some powdered greens to boost the likely nutritional deficiency. I may also consider ending the fast on Tuesday. I've been taking it day-by-day, but with the goal of making it at least seven days.
I teach a two hour spin class Friday evening in addition to my usual Thursday night class. With that in mind, I have to look at this upcoming week and approach it wisely, which may not mean fasting until the end of Thursday. We shall see.
Speaking of caloric deficit, I didn't do this to lose weight. (That's an added bonus.) But I've lost six pounds thus fast. Nothing yesterday (!?) and only a half pound today. Maybe spinning is the magic combination for those 2.5 lb days?
I have noticed that I am more belchy. Since I can no longer burp the alphabet, this doesn't do much for me. I also notice that I am expelling mucus. After the salt water yumminess every morning, I seem to cough up mucus, and my sinuses loosen a bit. Since I do a saline wash up my nose everyday anyway, this is a lotta salt flushing. The departure method of said mucus makes sense. My respiratory system has always been my weak link. So those are the noticable side effects.
As for today, it's been a very low energy day. Three flights of stairs to the laundry room left my legs feeling heavy. I feel a little sore from yoga yesterday. Not overly talkative (which may come as a relief to Paul). Don't feel like the sharpest tack. A little dull. I haven't had the blissout that Paul has. It hasn't been challenging, but I haven't noticed improved sleep or life on the puffy cloud. My sense of smell is definitely more acute.
If tomorrow continues to be this low energy, I may try to add in some powdered greens to boost the likely nutritional deficiency. I may also consider ending the fast on Tuesday. I've been taking it day-by-day, but with the goal of making it at least seven days.
I teach a two hour spin class Friday evening in addition to my usual Thursday night class. With that in mind, I have to look at this upcoming week and approach it wisely, which may not mean fasting until the end of Thursday. We shall see.
March 23, 2007
Day 3-4 of zesty fasting
Thankfully, the awfulness of Day 2 stayed there. Once the stomach ache from vomiting the previous night dissipated, Day 3 was fine. Had to remind myself to drink the lemonade, didn't feel much hunger. Very heightened sense of smell, almost annoyingly so. All this time spent not eating leaves us to pursue other fun stuff. Teaching spin last night was fine. I kept my heart rate below 85%. Luckily it wasn't a killer class, just plain ole' medium endurance riding. While spinning I did notice that my sweat was unusually salty, much like the salt water I drink each morning.
Today's been a-okay, too. Paul had the day off, and so it was a lazy morning after we consumed our salt water. It was funny to see food habits being broken; usually we'd go out for a meal or need to do some grocery shopping or the like. There was none of that, just noticing the letting go of habitry. My friend Becky was right- I was more productive due to not having to think/deal with food. Also noticed we've run the dishwasher far less than normal since we're not cooking.
I'm being intelligent, as hard as it is, and not doing long rides outside during the fast. A spin class is one thing, a ride outside is a whole different story, especially since around Berkeley-Oakland you can't escape the hills and that's where my energy would get eaten up. I will miss riding with my friends for a few days, but better to be sensible than to get myself into a bad sitch.
In other news: Starting to do a bunch of reading and research about my upcoming trip to Nepal. The Annapurna Circuit isn't a cakewalk. There's one pass, Thorung La, which is 17,770 feet we have to make it over, then descend over scree. This shit's serious. Thankfully, I will be taking a three day course to recertify my Wilderness First Responder next month, which will give me the refresher I need to deal with altitude illness and other things we may encounter on the trail. It is becoming apparent that I will need to be in phenomenal shape for this three week trek.
Today's been a-okay, too. Paul had the day off, and so it was a lazy morning after we consumed our salt water. It was funny to see food habits being broken; usually we'd go out for a meal or need to do some grocery shopping or the like. There was none of that, just noticing the letting go of habitry. My friend Becky was right- I was more productive due to not having to think/deal with food. Also noticed we've run the dishwasher far less than normal since we're not cooking.
I'm being intelligent, as hard as it is, and not doing long rides outside during the fast. A spin class is one thing, a ride outside is a whole different story, especially since around Berkeley-Oakland you can't escape the hills and that's where my energy would get eaten up. I will miss riding with my friends for a few days, but better to be sensible than to get myself into a bad sitch.
In other news: Starting to do a bunch of reading and research about my upcoming trip to Nepal. The Annapurna Circuit isn't a cakewalk. There's one pass, Thorung La, which is 17,770 feet we have to make it over, then descend over scree. This shit's serious. Thankfully, I will be taking a three day course to recertify my Wilderness First Responder next month, which will give me the refresher I need to deal with altitude illness and other things we may encounter on the trail. It is becoming apparent that I will need to be in phenomenal shape for this three week trek.
March 22, 2007
Day 2: Not Fun
Yesterday mid-day I developed a headache. Bad enough that I blew off yoga class, which is so unlike me. I felt ill at the smell of the lemonade. My sense of smell seemed heightened, and any strong smell left me queasy. The headache progressed.
While vacuuming, I started to feel nauseated. Acid reflux upchuck happened. I stopped vacuuming and took a prone position, feeling progressively more awful. Shortly after P came home, I began vomiting. I didn't have much to yak. It hurt to heave nothing. P was sweet and held my hair back. This happened on and off for a couple hours.
I managed to get to sleep. Staying asleep was another matter. I woke up at 2:30am. We took the dog out at 3am. (dammit, she still leaked!) Was awake from 2:30am to 6am. Headache dull, throbbing. Finally at 4:44am (the chinese believe the number 4 signifies death. for many years, I woke up exactly at 4:44 every morning.) I took some Ibuprofin. I had tried to be a trooper and withstand the headache, but it was going on almost 18 hours. I found some nice ways to appreciate being awake. Finally crashed out, only to be woken by Splat declaring his hunger. At least you get food, dude.
I feel better this morning. Weak. Hungryish. Headache gone. Stomach feels worked as it does after a pukefest. Was that a detox evening? Who knows.
I'll go for day 3, what the hell. I teach spin tonight. Wish me luck.
While vacuuming, I started to feel nauseated. Acid reflux upchuck happened. I stopped vacuuming and took a prone position, feeling progressively more awful. Shortly after P came home, I began vomiting. I didn't have much to yak. It hurt to heave nothing. P was sweet and held my hair back. This happened on and off for a couple hours.
I managed to get to sleep. Staying asleep was another matter. I woke up at 2:30am. We took the dog out at 3am. (dammit, she still leaked!) Was awake from 2:30am to 6am. Headache dull, throbbing. Finally at 4:44am (the chinese believe the number 4 signifies death. for many years, I woke up exactly at 4:44 every morning.) I took some Ibuprofin. I had tried to be a trooper and withstand the headache, but it was going on almost 18 hours. I found some nice ways to appreciate being awake. Finally crashed out, only to be woken by Splat declaring his hunger. At least you get food, dude.
I feel better this morning. Weak. Hungryish. Headache gone. Stomach feels worked as it does after a pukefest. Was that a detox evening? Who knows.
I'll go for day 3, what the hell. I teach spin tonight. Wish me luck.
March 21, 2007
Silly Fasting Business, Day #2
It was my idea. A spring cleaning, so to speak. It sounded like a good idea. Originally I had wanted to do a juice fast, but my friend with the juicer is out of town, hence, the juicer unavailable. Then one of my cycling friends was on a modified version of The Master Cleanse, aka The Lemonade Diet. She's not a kook, so it got me thinking maybe that would work, too. Although Becky supplemented with powdered greens, and gave me her leftovers. Haven't gone there yet and dunno if I will.
I'm doing it with Paul. Bless his hungry soul. Makes it more fun when you gulp Smooth Move tea with someone you love, then you can talk about the lovely details of it all. Or when 3:45am wakes me with stomach cramps, I have a warm understanding person to spoon away the pain. Helps, too, that he's all jazzy about it!
Besides being hungry and crave-y, it's not so bad. I am backing off on the cycling some, with Sunday's bonk still fresh in my mind. I'm teaching spin tomorrow evening, but skipping the four hour ride with Mark. I have a low-grade headache today. I haven't had caffeine in two days, could that be it? Or is it truly the detox action?
How long can I do this? It's supposed to be 10 days, but I was reading that after 7 days your body uses your own muscle for protein. I am needing all the muscle I have, so it may be limited to 7 days. I saw my chirpractor today and she thought for one's first fast 3-5 days might be more appropriate. Surprisingly, she was totally on board with the whole fasting concept. At the very least, I'd like to make it through the weekend. I've got some bike riding needing to happen while I'm not working.
Paul's suggesting a raw vegan diet after this is all done. Does that mean he won't bake? Because that truly is my downfall.
I'm doing it with Paul. Bless his hungry soul. Makes it more fun when you gulp Smooth Move tea with someone you love, then you can talk about the lovely details of it all. Or when 3:45am wakes me with stomach cramps, I have a warm understanding person to spoon away the pain. Helps, too, that he's all jazzy about it!
Besides being hungry and crave-y, it's not so bad. I am backing off on the cycling some, with Sunday's bonk still fresh in my mind. I'm teaching spin tomorrow evening, but skipping the four hour ride with Mark. I have a low-grade headache today. I haven't had caffeine in two days, could that be it? Or is it truly the detox action?
How long can I do this? It's supposed to be 10 days, but I was reading that after 7 days your body uses your own muscle for protein. I am needing all the muscle I have, so it may be limited to 7 days. I saw my chirpractor today and she thought for one's first fast 3-5 days might be more appropriate. Surprisingly, she was totally on board with the whole fasting concept. At the very least, I'd like to make it through the weekend. I've got some bike riding needing to happen while I'm not working.
Paul's suggesting a raw vegan diet after this is all done. Does that mean he won't bake? Because that truly is my downfall.
March 18, 2007
Asia Travel
I booked my ticket. I'm meeting Michelle in Bangkok. We're going to Nepal, Tibet, and who knows where else our adventures will take us. The plan, thus far, is to do the Annapurna Trail. We'll be over there for seven weeks.
Ever been over there?
Tell me about it, please. I've never done anything like this before. Been to Germany and Italy. That's it. All the more reason I should be doing this, eh?
Ever been over there?
Tell me about it, please. I've never done anything like this before. Been to Germany and Italy. That's it. All the more reason I should be doing this, eh?
February 15, 2007
Ups and Downs
Unsurprisingly, Allstate completely low-balled me in the settlement offer. They won't budge. They tell me my options are arbitration or filing suit against them.
I was super pissed yesterday when they called. Now, I simply don't care. Fine, you can screw me, Allstate. I only care about putting this behind me. I can't fully heal and move on until this is done . Allstate counts on people like me to cave. It would take weeks or months of dragging it out via arbitration or going through an attorney with the hopes of getting more money. At this point, it's no longer about money.
There's a special place in hell for you, Ms. Insurance Adjustor.
Right up there with meter maids.
(This would be a fine time to rant about the parking ticket I received from the snakes at Oakland Parking Division. (Fuckers!) They fined me $50 for parking in a red zone, when I hadn't. Part of my front bumper bled into the red zone, ever-so-slightly. However, there's been a car parked in the same spot that has been WAY bleeding into the red zone....and yet, NO TICKET!!!)
Uh, I'm feeling ranteriffic right now.
Anyway, Allstate is fucking me, but they are giving me enough money to get a new bike. I put down a deposit on a custom frame from Steve Rex of Rex Cycles . A frame that will fit me exclusively, to resolve the fit issues of long femurs and short torso and arms. I'm getting the Carbon and Steel frame. I'm going to put my REI pro-deal abilities to their fullest use and deck this bike out in the top of the line components. Hell, yeah , I will no longer have to deal with the squirrely chatter of an aluminum frame. Or of having a triple. Nor will I be riding a bike who's top tube is 5cm too long! Aside from the cost of this beauty, the only downside is this frame takes four months to get. Steve makes each frame himself, by hand. Soooooooo worth it.
Oh, and the other joy of parking in my hood? I often drive around a lot, never to find parking. So, occasionally I park in the Church lot near my place. No issues, I move the car first thing in the morning when I wake up. This moring I forgot to move it, and ran outside at 10:30am. Shouldn't be a big issue on a Thursday morning, right? WRONG! I ran out to find my 4Runner being loaded onto a tow truck. Yup. Yes, it was my own damn fault. The tow truck guys were not going to release my car! After conducting a huddle up by my front bumper, they decided to release it for eighty dollars . EXTORTION MONEY!
Oh, and guys, you can join the insurance adjustor and the meter maid in hell, okay?
I'm a firm believer in karma , folks, and you'll get yours.
I was super pissed yesterday when they called. Now, I simply don't care. Fine, you can screw me, Allstate. I only care about putting this behind me. I can't fully heal and move on until this is done . Allstate counts on people like me to cave. It would take weeks or months of dragging it out via arbitration or going through an attorney with the hopes of getting more money. At this point, it's no longer about money.
There's a special place in hell for you, Ms. Insurance Adjustor.
Right up there with meter maids.
(This would be a fine time to rant about the parking ticket I received from the snakes at Oakland Parking Division. (Fuckers!) They fined me $50 for parking in a red zone, when I hadn't. Part of my front bumper bled into the red zone, ever-so-slightly. However, there's been a car parked in the same spot that has been WAY bleeding into the red zone....and yet, NO TICKET!!!)
Uh, I'm feeling ranteriffic right now.
Anyway, Allstate is fucking me, but they are giving me enough money to get a new bike. I put down a deposit on a custom frame from Steve Rex of Rex Cycles . A frame that will fit me exclusively, to resolve the fit issues of long femurs and short torso and arms. I'm getting the Carbon and Steel frame. I'm going to put my REI pro-deal abilities to their fullest use and deck this bike out in the top of the line components. Hell, yeah , I will no longer have to deal with the squirrely chatter of an aluminum frame. Or of having a triple. Nor will I be riding a bike who's top tube is 5cm too long! Aside from the cost of this beauty, the only downside is this frame takes four months to get. Steve makes each frame himself, by hand. Soooooooo worth it.
Oh, and the other joy of parking in my hood? I often drive around a lot, never to find parking. So, occasionally I park in the Church lot near my place. No issues, I move the car first thing in the morning when I wake up. This moring I forgot to move it, and ran outside at 10:30am. Shouldn't be a big issue on a Thursday morning, right? WRONG! I ran out to find my 4Runner being loaded onto a tow truck. Yup. Yes, it was my own damn fault. The tow truck guys were not going to release my car! After conducting a huddle up by my front bumper, they decided to release it for eighty dollars . EXTORTION MONEY!
Oh, and guys, you can join the insurance adjustor and the meter maid in hell, okay?
I'm a firm believer in karma , folks, and you'll get yours.
February 1, 2007
Really?
Has it really been 20 years?
I received an email today about my 20th High School Reunion. Oy.
The internet must be a powerful tool, I don't know how else they found me. I was MIA for the 10th reunion, and then, I was still on the East Coast. I come from a place where people don't leave. Or if they do, it's a couple towns over.
More alarming, I am actually considering going to the reunion. Only vaguely considering, but still. I was one of those total outcasts. You know the type. Arty. Sullen. One of two punk kids in a sea of upturn collars and feathered hair. I grew up on Cape Cod. Politically liberal, socially stifling. Land of the cookie cutter people. So I find it surprising that I'm not rejecting the idea immediately.
Why would I pay to torture myself by seeing these people again?
Partially because I've knocked that Outsider chip off my shoulder. Partially out of morbid curiousity. There are a couple people I'd like to see. I haven't been abck to the Cape for years and years. I seek no closure from my high school years, so there's none of that.
But damn, has it really been 20 years?
I received an email today about my 20th High School Reunion. Oy.
The internet must be a powerful tool, I don't know how else they found me. I was MIA for the 10th reunion, and then, I was still on the East Coast. I come from a place where people don't leave. Or if they do, it's a couple towns over.
More alarming, I am actually considering going to the reunion. Only vaguely considering, but still. I was one of those total outcasts. You know the type. Arty. Sullen. One of two punk kids in a sea of upturn collars and feathered hair. I grew up on Cape Cod. Politically liberal, socially stifling. Land of the cookie cutter people. So I find it surprising that I'm not rejecting the idea immediately.
Why would I pay to torture myself by seeing these people again?
Partially because I've knocked that Outsider chip off my shoulder. Partially out of morbid curiousity. There are a couple people I'd like to see. I haven't been abck to the Cape for years and years. I seek no closure from my high school years, so there's none of that.
But damn, has it really been 20 years?
January 31, 2007
A Letter to Allstate
Hello XXXXX,
As you move towards the review of my claim before making your settlement offer, I'd like to tell you a few details in the hope that you will be taking this into consideration.
While we determined earlier this month that I was returned to pre injury status, I have to say, that while I am ready to settle, that is in no way true. My pre-injury status was that of a strong, fast cyclist. A cyclist for whom a 60 mile ride was an easy afternoon spin. A cyclist whose 2005 event completion included two double centuries (200 miles in a day) and ten centuries (100 miles in a day). In addition, I went on a four day, five hundred mile cycling vacation in 2005. I had planned to race in the 2006 cycling season.
All of that changed on April 5, 2006 when XXXXX XXXXXX struck my car during rush hour traffic on the 580 freeway. When Mr. XXXXX slammed into me from the side, it impacted both my neck and low back. My head snapped to the side. My pelvis was also thrown to one side. I experienced shooting pains up my spine and went to the Emergency Room at Kaiser after the accident.
While Allstate might claim I suffered "only soft tissue injuries", it was to the extent that I spent several months in pain, requiring medications such as muscle relaxants to cope with the spasms and prescription strength ibuprofin and vicodin to manage the pain. As late as November, I was still requiring muscle relaxants. I am not someone who like to ingest medications of any kind.
I lost my entire 2006 cycling year from that point on. What was my biggest passion and brought me so much joy now brought me to tears, from both pain and frustration. I could no longer ride with my friends, so my social life suffered. I could no longer get the exercise I was used to, so my overall health and mental health suffered. Ask any athlete who cannot exercise at their level and they will tell you it takes quite a toll on you mentally. I couldn't race. I could barely ride. The seven day 600 mile cycling vacation I had hope to go on with my friends, instead I spent trying to recover from these injuries. I missed the 2006 Death Ride, for which I'd already paid $89 and made the lottery cut to get in.
A few weeks after the accident, I had to buy a new bed. I had been borrowing a bed from a friend, and suddenly even sleeping caused me pain. For months, sleeping in a bed that wasn't mine caused me pain and stiffness. This wasn't how I've ever lived. I continued to have disruptions in my sleep due to pain well into early December.
I've begun riding again, starting small and trying to rebuild my cycling endurance level. Yesterday I was in tears on a ride. I was riding alone, because all my elite athlete friends have pronounced me too slow to ride with. I was going up a hill and I was feeling sore in my low back, specifically the quadratus lumborum. Before the accident, I was a very strong hill climber, nicknamed the "Ponytail Express". Here I was going up a hill at 3.5 mph. This was a hill I had easily taken at 12 mph before the accident. While I was grateful to be alive and on my bike, this was not my pre-injury status.
It occurred to me then that the 2007 cycling season will essentially be lost, too. It will not be about riding with my friends, it will be about rehabbing alone and gradually working to build my strength to get back to where I was before Mr. XXXXXX was reckless enough to hit me while uninsured.
I was invited to be a cycling mentor for the 2007 Team in Training group for this year's Death Ride. As much as I would have loved to support a team raising funds for leukemia (as I did in 2005), I knew I was not strong enough to be a cycling mentor. It was with great sadness that I declined. There's no way I'll be able to ride the Death Ride in 2007.
In addition to the loss of my greatest joy in life, there have been other repercussions from the accident. I experience stress and anxiety now when driving on the freeway. I am particularly stressed and anxious when I am a passenger in a car. My boyfriend has had to endure my panicky outbursts when he's safely driving for months now. This still continues.
While I am not claiming a loss due to work pay, I did suffer a loss. All these medical appointments caused me to miss work. As an freelance photo producer, I work on-site in ad agencies on an hourly pay basis. I am not contracted for a specific amount of money, but rather to produce a job. I did lose hours of work. But I know this is hard to track given the uniqueness of my employment, which is why I am not seeking lost wages. I was very fortunate enough to be working at a company who my boss was a work friend and she understood what I was going through and was gracious about my missing hours in the office.
I have spent over $7000 in medical treatments and expenses. I was reimbursed for the first two thousand. I am sure you can understand the loss of five thousand dollars from one's bank account being a hardship. Even though I am considered returned to pre-injury status, I am truly not there yet, if you take into account that I was an elite athlete. This year will involve added expenses of working with a coach and a trainer to try to regain my athletic abilities to where they were before the accident. While I understand Allstate won't be paying for this, I would like it if this were considered just for a moment in the claim. It's not going to be an easy year to truly return to pre-injury status.
Can you imagine how you would feel if the activity outside of work that brought you the most joy was suddenly taken away from you and only caused pain? I understand it is your job to bring a claim to closure quickly and for the lowest amount possible. So while you do your job, please consider the human element of what the past eight months have held for me.
I may be able to live life like a normal sedentary person, but I am not anywhere near the level of my pre-injury fitness, mobility, and capacity as an athlete.
For years I have had Allstate Insurance, all the while believing the marketing slogan, "Allstate. You're in good hands." Am I in good hands? I would like to believe that Allstate will settle in good faith and offer a fair and reasonable settlement.
I look forward to hearing from you next week.
Jen
As you move towards the review of my claim before making your settlement offer, I'd like to tell you a few details in the hope that you will be taking this into consideration.
While we determined earlier this month that I was returned to pre injury status, I have to say, that while I am ready to settle, that is in no way true. My pre-injury status was that of a strong, fast cyclist. A cyclist for whom a 60 mile ride was an easy afternoon spin. A cyclist whose 2005 event completion included two double centuries (200 miles in a day) and ten centuries (100 miles in a day). In addition, I went on a four day, five hundred mile cycling vacation in 2005. I had planned to race in the 2006 cycling season.
All of that changed on April 5, 2006 when XXXXX XXXXXX struck my car during rush hour traffic on the 580 freeway. When Mr. XXXXX slammed into me from the side, it impacted both my neck and low back. My head snapped to the side. My pelvis was also thrown to one side. I experienced shooting pains up my spine and went to the Emergency Room at Kaiser after the accident.
While Allstate might claim I suffered "only soft tissue injuries", it was to the extent that I spent several months in pain, requiring medications such as muscle relaxants to cope with the spasms and prescription strength ibuprofin and vicodin to manage the pain. As late as November, I was still requiring muscle relaxants. I am not someone who like to ingest medications of any kind.
I lost my entire 2006 cycling year from that point on. What was my biggest passion and brought me so much joy now brought me to tears, from both pain and frustration. I could no longer ride with my friends, so my social life suffered. I could no longer get the exercise I was used to, so my overall health and mental health suffered. Ask any athlete who cannot exercise at their level and they will tell you it takes quite a toll on you mentally. I couldn't race. I could barely ride. The seven day 600 mile cycling vacation I had hope to go on with my friends, instead I spent trying to recover from these injuries. I missed the 2006 Death Ride, for which I'd already paid $89 and made the lottery cut to get in.
A few weeks after the accident, I had to buy a new bed. I had been borrowing a bed from a friend, and suddenly even sleeping caused me pain. For months, sleeping in a bed that wasn't mine caused me pain and stiffness. This wasn't how I've ever lived. I continued to have disruptions in my sleep due to pain well into early December.
I've begun riding again, starting small and trying to rebuild my cycling endurance level. Yesterday I was in tears on a ride. I was riding alone, because all my elite athlete friends have pronounced me too slow to ride with. I was going up a hill and I was feeling sore in my low back, specifically the quadratus lumborum. Before the accident, I was a very strong hill climber, nicknamed the "Ponytail Express". Here I was going up a hill at 3.5 mph. This was a hill I had easily taken at 12 mph before the accident. While I was grateful to be alive and on my bike, this was not my pre-injury status.
It occurred to me then that the 2007 cycling season will essentially be lost, too. It will not be about riding with my friends, it will be about rehabbing alone and gradually working to build my strength to get back to where I was before Mr. XXXXXX was reckless enough to hit me while uninsured.
I was invited to be a cycling mentor for the 2007 Team in Training group for this year's Death Ride. As much as I would have loved to support a team raising funds for leukemia (as I did in 2005), I knew I was not strong enough to be a cycling mentor. It was with great sadness that I declined. There's no way I'll be able to ride the Death Ride in 2007.
In addition to the loss of my greatest joy in life, there have been other repercussions from the accident. I experience stress and anxiety now when driving on the freeway. I am particularly stressed and anxious when I am a passenger in a car. My boyfriend has had to endure my panicky outbursts when he's safely driving for months now. This still continues.
While I am not claiming a loss due to work pay, I did suffer a loss. All these medical appointments caused me to miss work. As an freelance photo producer, I work on-site in ad agencies on an hourly pay basis. I am not contracted for a specific amount of money, but rather to produce a job. I did lose hours of work. But I know this is hard to track given the uniqueness of my employment, which is why I am not seeking lost wages. I was very fortunate enough to be working at a company who my boss was a work friend and she understood what I was going through and was gracious about my missing hours in the office.
I have spent over $7000 in medical treatments and expenses. I was reimbursed for the first two thousand. I am sure you can understand the loss of five thousand dollars from one's bank account being a hardship. Even though I am considered returned to pre-injury status, I am truly not there yet, if you take into account that I was an elite athlete. This year will involve added expenses of working with a coach and a trainer to try to regain my athletic abilities to where they were before the accident. While I understand Allstate won't be paying for this, I would like it if this were considered just for a moment in the claim. It's not going to be an easy year to truly return to pre-injury status.
Can you imagine how you would feel if the activity outside of work that brought you the most joy was suddenly taken away from you and only caused pain? I understand it is your job to bring a claim to closure quickly and for the lowest amount possible. So while you do your job, please consider the human element of what the past eight months have held for me.
I may be able to live life like a normal sedentary person, but I am not anywhere near the level of my pre-injury fitness, mobility, and capacity as an athlete.
For years I have had Allstate Insurance, all the while believing the marketing slogan, "Allstate. You're in good hands." Am I in good hands? I would like to believe that Allstate will settle in good faith and offer a fair and reasonable settlement.
I look forward to hearing from you next week.
Jen
January 23, 2007
Happy Crasher
Happy Crasher
Originally uploaded by jenworth.
I love snowboarding!
Just spent the weekend up at Kirkwood. No new snow, but it was still fun. Saturday I had a really good day. No falls. Didn't even wipe out getting off the lift. It felt really good.
Sunday morning we woke up to howling winds. We suspected the mountain might be closed, and we weren't wrong. Three lifts were open, mostly really easy stuff. So after dawdling, we went out for a couple hours. I don't know what changed from the day before, but I was a mess. Thankfully it was a brief day! I lacked confidence, which kept me from catching my heel edge easily. I don't know what was up. It got a tiny bit better, but riding wasn't fluid like it was on Saturday. We rode until the end of the day, and then made a really yummy dinner of roasted stuffed squash.
We were lucky to have stayed right on the mountain (luck costs bucks, in this case) and we rode again on Monday. Once again, it felt great. I really enjoyed the bluebird day. Not crowded or cold. Just a really fun day, even if I did crash more than Saturday.
Snowboarding is F U N ! ! !
January 16, 2007
Back in the Saddle
I'm back!
Two weeks ago, my chiropractor and I proclaimed me restored to "pre-injury status". This means I am finally done treating from the car accident I was in back in April 2006. I walked away from that accident, but the accident changed the rest of 2006. I could no longer do what I loved and with the people I call my friends.
Cycling sends me over the moon. I can't express how it scrubs clear the cobwebs in my brain.
But all of December I'd been hemming and hawing about getting back on the bike, even though I wasn't working. I was telling myself, "It's no fun to ride alone".
Bullshit!
Yesterday, one of my favorite people gave me back cycling. Marty said, "wanna ride soon?" in an email. We were out there yesterday afternoon, in the freezing cold at 4pm for a quick spin. I've certainly lost some power and strength, but not the joy of being on the bike. That is, so long as I lose the ego, and not think of what level of riding I was at during the 2005 season.
It wasn't an earth shattering ride; it was only an hour long. But it showed me that my legs were still strong, just not what they were. Thanks to the performance indoor cycling program (we can't call ourselves Spin, because we don't license from Johnny G) at Berkeley Ironworks, I've been able to maintain cardio and some strength.
So today, I went riding again. Alone. Riding alone is fun, because cycling is fun. It was freezing out, and I had to go to REI to get a skull cap and a proper cycling windbreaker. (Thankful once again, I am an employee of the REI Outdoor School and entitled to that employee discount!)
Another "quick ride". See, for me, anything less than 30 miles was not worth breaking out the bike. I have to lose that thinking, and appreciate the sheer joy of being in the saddle. Climbing hills on a bike has always been a favorite part of cycling, and I still love it.
So, while I get back into cycling shape and my 2007 cycling season evolves, I'll try to keep cycling related blather over here . It could get tedious, I'll warn you. I may use that blog to document my training progress in only a way I care to follow. Who knows. Who knows what this season will bring. But it's nice to be back.
Two weeks ago, my chiropractor and I proclaimed me restored to "pre-injury status". This means I am finally done treating from the car accident I was in back in April 2006. I walked away from that accident, but the accident changed the rest of 2006. I could no longer do what I loved and with the people I call my friends.
Cycling sends me over the moon. I can't express how it scrubs clear the cobwebs in my brain.
But all of December I'd been hemming and hawing about getting back on the bike, even though I wasn't working. I was telling myself, "It's no fun to ride alone".
Bullshit!
Yesterday, one of my favorite people gave me back cycling. Marty said, "wanna ride soon?" in an email. We were out there yesterday afternoon, in the freezing cold at 4pm for a quick spin. I've certainly lost some power and strength, but not the joy of being on the bike. That is, so long as I lose the ego, and not think of what level of riding I was at during the 2005 season.
It wasn't an earth shattering ride; it was only an hour long. But it showed me that my legs were still strong, just not what they were. Thanks to the performance indoor cycling program (we can't call ourselves Spin, because we don't license from Johnny G) at Berkeley Ironworks, I've been able to maintain cardio and some strength.
So today, I went riding again. Alone. Riding alone is fun, because cycling is fun. It was freezing out, and I had to go to REI to get a skull cap and a proper cycling windbreaker. (Thankful once again, I am an employee of the REI Outdoor School and entitled to that employee discount!)
Another "quick ride". See, for me, anything less than 30 miles was not worth breaking out the bike. I have to lose that thinking, and appreciate the sheer joy of being in the saddle. Climbing hills on a bike has always been a favorite part of cycling, and I still love it.
So, while I get back into cycling shape and my 2007 cycling season evolves, I'll try to keep cycling related blather over here . It could get tedious, I'll warn you. I may use that blog to document my training progress in only a way I care to follow. Who knows. Who knows what this season will bring. But it's nice to be back.
January 12, 2007
La di da.
Total Cuteness
Originally uploaded by jenworth.
I have not worked since Thanksgiving.
Clearly, I need to get out more, because I am talking to the cats.
That is all.
January 7, 2007
Another cat. What the hell?
Another cat. What the hell?
Originally uploaded by jenworth.
I'm starting to scare even myself. Am I destined to be a crazy cat lady? I swear I won't get one of those funky smelling apartments where it's obvious that there are cats due to catstench.
suggested names for this little guy are welcomed!
his foster mom named him picasso. no way.
he looks like ink was thrown on him; you have to see his crazy markings.
named bandied about:
splat: looks like he was splattered with ink
jack: he looks like a jackson pollock painting
he's so contrasty compared to the creamy orange Hippo.
January 4, 2007
Shallow Me
Apparently, I am shallow. And I like it.
I am a magazine junkie. I'll read nearly any magazine, and usually even have a subscription to a handful of different magazines. If P didn't mock Oprah as hard as he does, I'll probably even have a sub to "O", even though she's such an egomanic that she's on the cover every month.
Anyway.
Have you ever given magazines' purpose any thought? I mean, besides to sell ads, although this fits in nicely with my theory. Magazines exist to tell you about your imperfections. How to camoflage those 10 pounds. How to be more thoughtful. Stronger. Better looking, through make-up and fashion, of course. How to get rid of the gut, have a nicer house, get a better car, trick out your motorcycle, and overall, how to overhaul your sad-sack of a life. And if you want to avoid recognizing your pathetic life, you can drown yourself in celebrity tabloids. Now, those people are fucked. Even if they are rich!
Oh, and those ads? They're there to help you understand which products you'll need for your self-improvement project.
So magazines are essentially there to point out our flaws (and improve them) and to sell products.
Why do I love magazines so? A lot of them are ALL ads (hello, Vogue!). A lot have bad photography. But they're like little snippets into a culture. They're aspirational (hello, marketing buzzword!). They are a timesuck. Okay, there's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.
Plus they are a waste of paper. Few use eco-friendly inks. I gotta get over this magazine thing.
Also, I heard on the radio yesterday an interview with some gal who wrote a book about current trends. Can't recall the title, only that she works at J Walter Thompson. She was speaking about how we're all feeling an emotional void which is why we try to fill it up with products.
But it was her comments about the superficiality of our relationships that stuck with me. She said we'd rather have 14 "lite" friends of a superficial nature with whom we can have small talk. Those people make us feel good and we can interact with them in brief spurts. She claims we, as a society, prefer that to having a small group of truly deep friendships, the kind of friends we can spend two hours talking to. She asserts it's because we don't have or make time, so we squeeze our friendships in wherever we have a moment in the cracks of our lives.
She may be right. I notice this myself. I have many "friends". How many of these "friends" do I get together with on a regular basis and gift them with my time and attention. Very few, but they're also not seeking it out because we all have busy lives and they, too, seemingly prefer the kind of quick interactions that friendship seems to be about these days. I have few friends that I get together with or have long, meaningful conversations. I cherish each of these people and times we get together. But there are people with whom I'd like to spend more time....I just don't "have" the time. That's bullshit, though.
One revelation I had years ago was this: for those who don't have enough time, they need to remember it's about choices. We all have the same 24 hours in a day. No one gets any more or any less. We all choose how we spend those 24 hours. So when you don't "have" time to spend with friends, or to go to the gym or whatever, it's because it's not a priority enough to make time for it.
Which leads me back to feeling shallow and selfish because there are people I truly want to connect with and somehow haven't made the time to do so.
I am a magazine junkie. I'll read nearly any magazine, and usually even have a subscription to a handful of different magazines. If P didn't mock Oprah as hard as he does, I'll probably even have a sub to "O", even though she's such an egomanic that she's on the cover every month.
Anyway.
Have you ever given magazines' purpose any thought? I mean, besides to sell ads, although this fits in nicely with my theory. Magazines exist to tell you about your imperfections. How to camoflage those 10 pounds. How to be more thoughtful. Stronger. Better looking, through make-up and fashion, of course. How to get rid of the gut, have a nicer house, get a better car, trick out your motorcycle, and overall, how to overhaul your sad-sack of a life. And if you want to avoid recognizing your pathetic life, you can drown yourself in celebrity tabloids. Now, those people are fucked. Even if they are rich!
Oh, and those ads? They're there to help you understand which products you'll need for your self-improvement project.
So magazines are essentially there to point out our flaws (and improve them) and to sell products.
Why do I love magazines so? A lot of them are ALL ads (hello, Vogue!). A lot have bad photography. But they're like little snippets into a culture. They're aspirational (hello, marketing buzzword!). They are a timesuck. Okay, there's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.
Plus they are a waste of paper. Few use eco-friendly inks. I gotta get over this magazine thing.
Also, I heard on the radio yesterday an interview with some gal who wrote a book about current trends. Can't recall the title, only that she works at J Walter Thompson. She was speaking about how we're all feeling an emotional void which is why we try to fill it up with products.
But it was her comments about the superficiality of our relationships that stuck with me. She said we'd rather have 14 "lite" friends of a superficial nature with whom we can have small talk. Those people make us feel good and we can interact with them in brief spurts. She claims we, as a society, prefer that to having a small group of truly deep friendships, the kind of friends we can spend two hours talking to. She asserts it's because we don't have or make time, so we squeeze our friendships in wherever we have a moment in the cracks of our lives.
She may be right. I notice this myself. I have many "friends". How many of these "friends" do I get together with on a regular basis and gift them with my time and attention. Very few, but they're also not seeking it out because we all have busy lives and they, too, seemingly prefer the kind of quick interactions that friendship seems to be about these days. I have few friends that I get together with or have long, meaningful conversations. I cherish each of these people and times we get together. But there are people with whom I'd like to spend more time....I just don't "have" the time. That's bullshit, though.
One revelation I had years ago was this: for those who don't have enough time, they need to remember it's about choices. We all have the same 24 hours in a day. No one gets any more or any less. We all choose how we spend those 24 hours. So when you don't "have" time to spend with friends, or to go to the gym or whatever, it's because it's not a priority enough to make time for it.
Which leads me back to feeling shallow and selfish because there are people I truly want to connect with and somehow haven't made the time to do so.
December 30, 2006
the waves of 2006
last year I called the year end recap "cheesy". mmmm.....cheese. i'll eat those words, cause apparently i am doing it again. it's a fun thing to look back on a year later, thus, I bring you the thumbs-up and the boos of 2006.
The Crap:
Had to put Milo down. Hands down, this was the saddest, shittiest thing of 2006. I miss him still.
The Car Accident on April 5, 2006 and the resulting loss of my cycling year. Learned how much Allstate sucks, too.
Worked a hell of a lot and didn't have much downtime during the good weather.
Basically shut down the dog biz due to being so busy in advertising.
Didn't make it to Yosemite even once.
No backpacking trips.
Parking in my 'hood.
The Good:
Sold the house right before the market skidded and did well on the sale.
Purging and simplifying during the move. It's nice to have less stuff!
A couple good car camping trips.
Having a solid friendship with my ex-spouse.
Luna staying in good health and getting to see the joy of her having two homes.
The freedom of renting versus owning. Owning isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Being in a really healthy, wonderful relationship with someone I adore.
Hippo the Cat, a fun addition to the fam.
The Crap:
Had to put Milo down. Hands down, this was the saddest, shittiest thing of 2006. I miss him still.
The Car Accident on April 5, 2006 and the resulting loss of my cycling year. Learned how much Allstate sucks, too.
Worked a hell of a lot and didn't have much downtime during the good weather.
Basically shut down the dog biz due to being so busy in advertising.
Didn't make it to Yosemite even once.
No backpacking trips.
Parking in my 'hood.
The Good:
Sold the house right before the market skidded and did well on the sale.
Purging and simplifying during the move. It's nice to have less stuff!
A couple good car camping trips.
Having a solid friendship with my ex-spouse.
Luna staying in good health and getting to see the joy of her having two homes.
The freedom of renting versus owning. Owning isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Being in a really healthy, wonderful relationship with someone I adore.
Hippo the Cat, a fun addition to the fam.
December 21, 2006
The Longest Night
It is the Winter Solstice. The shortest day. The longest night of the year.
A time of darkness. And the promise of lightness. New life. New beginnings to move forth from the darkness. A time for quiet. Introspection.
Light a candle tonight and sit for a moment in silence. Appreciate what has come to pass and all that there is to come.
December 18, 2006
Holiday Madness
People are insane right now.
For real. The frenzy of the holidays brings out the worst in people right now. The expectations of the holidays, the shopping in particular, results in people being crazed right now. Hurried. Rude. Inconsiderate. Absent-minded. Must shop. Gotta get everything on the list. People seem quick to cut each other off driving.
What about good cheer? Goodwill towards others? It's gone the wayside due to consuming, and the commercialism of this grouping of holidays.
It sucks. Reason # 613 I ignore the holidays. Perhaps this year, with taking the month off, I am more acutely aware of the madness because I am not moving anywhere near that pace of life.
In other news: I sat for a few more hours of tattoo work on my belt piece. It's nearly done; just have another couple hours of the fine details work, the shading and refining. Marcus layers his colors in like a watercolor, so he likes to see the colors from session to session so he can really work in the details. This sitting was more painful than the last one. I was complain-y and getting electrical current-like radiating sensations far from the actual needlin'.
Advice for the day: If you get tattooed along the beltline the day before, it's a really bad idea to put on spandex shorts and go to a spin class less than 24 hours after a tattoo appointment.
For real. The frenzy of the holidays brings out the worst in people right now. The expectations of the holidays, the shopping in particular, results in people being crazed right now. Hurried. Rude. Inconsiderate. Absent-minded. Must shop. Gotta get everything on the list. People seem quick to cut each other off driving.
What about good cheer? Goodwill towards others? It's gone the wayside due to consuming, and the commercialism of this grouping of holidays.
It sucks. Reason # 613 I ignore the holidays. Perhaps this year, with taking the month off, I am more acutely aware of the madness because I am not moving anywhere near that pace of life.
In other news: I sat for a few more hours of tattoo work on my belt piece. It's nearly done; just have another couple hours of the fine details work, the shading and refining. Marcus layers his colors in like a watercolor, so he likes to see the colors from session to session so he can really work in the details. This sitting was more painful than the last one. I was complain-y and getting electrical current-like radiating sensations far from the actual needlin'.
Advice for the day: If you get tattooed along the beltline the day before, it's a really bad idea to put on spandex shorts and go to a spin class less than 24 hours after a tattoo appointment.
December 15, 2006
I'm not, honest!
Playful Loon
Originally uploaded by jenworth.
I'm really truly not turning into a crazy cat lady, blogging and flickring all about my cat.
i'm just an all around animal nut, and to prove it, here's a photo of my supercute dog Luna. She took a break in between killing her stuffed toy to post for the camera.
Am I dork? Quite possibly.
December 13, 2006
Powder Days
Caught my first day of snowboarding yesterday. It was awesome! P and I got season passes to Kirkwood and since I'm taking the month off, I wanted to get up there fast. Tahoe got a foot of snow this past weekend. My friend Michelle and I drove up for the day, leaving Oakland in the rain before 6am.
We got in a good five hours of riding. My first run, as usual, left me thinking, "Do I remember how to do this?" and from there on out, it only got better. It's feeling more natural. Pilates seems to be helping my snowboarding, even!
A good good day. Wet heavy snow fell after lunch, but we still rode until the lifts closed.
So much fun. Went back to the car, and the tire chain mishap we had driving in left me with a flat tire. Called Triple-A, waited by the fire, and they came and replaced the tire and followed me up Carson Spur to make sure I could get out of the snow without my broken chains. Even that business didn't put a damper on a really fun day!
I'm already wanting to be back on the slopes!
We got in a good five hours of riding. My first run, as usual, left me thinking, "Do I remember how to do this?" and from there on out, it only got better. It's feeling more natural. Pilates seems to be helping my snowboarding, even!
A good good day. Wet heavy snow fell after lunch, but we still rode until the lifts closed.
So much fun. Went back to the car, and the tire chain mishap we had driving in left me with a flat tire. Called Triple-A, waited by the fire, and they came and replaced the tire and followed me up Carson Spur to make sure I could get out of the snow without my broken chains. Even that business didn't put a damper on a really fun day!
I'm already wanting to be back on the slopes!
December 11, 2006
Kitten needs a name!
Killing the Duck
Originally uploaded by jenworth.
Mr. Kitten just ain't cuttin' it as his name.
No name has really jumped out. I had considered naming him True, since he was found at Truitt and White, the lumber yard, as a stray.
P didn't care for that name.
Help name the cat!
Current names under consideration:
P likes Angus. It makes me think "steak".
Henry. P likes, and I can live with it. A bit of a lackluster name.
Zeppo. I like, P is neutral. Zeppo is random. A bit nuts.
When he's not hiding under the couch, he's zipping all over the place. Kitty freak-outs. Attacking anything not moving. The spazzattack last about 15 minutes, then he's back under the couch for a nap.
We wonder if he needs a sibling. Most of the time he's a lone wolf just chillin'. But maybe he'd do well with a buddy?
December 7, 2006
December 6, 2006
Adding to the family....
No, no, no. I'm not knocked up.
I adopted a kitten. He's being neutered today and I bring him home after his surgery.
The little guy picked ME, I swear. He's an orange tabby. He seems super mellow, at least in the shelter environment.
Kitten!
I adopted a kitten. He's being neutered today and I bring him home after his surgery.
The little guy picked ME, I swear. He's an orange tabby. He seems super mellow, at least in the shelter environment.
Kitten!
November 20, 2006
Mellow Monday and more to come
Ahhhhhhh.
Not gloating, but I'm done working! I left there Friday night with a sense of relief.
I had to teach Saturday morning at 7am, though. But I always get extra energized when I'm teaching a Spin class. My music, my designed workout and, in a sense, it's a bit of a performance. Two hours of class flew by. Saturday afternoon I took a three hour yoga class. One of my long-time teachers does a three hour workshop once a month. It's a way to chip away at the crust in one's muscles in a deep way. A hot tub and sauna finished my Saturday off nicely.
Sunday was more mellow, until we had a special birthday spin class for one of our friends, followed by a get-together at Trader Vics in Emeryville. Love that place, despite it being expensive with marginal service.
Luna girl didn't go to her Dads on Sunday night like she usually does. She's staying here for a couple more days, until I leave for Chicago. It's nice having a dog here more than two days a week. She's far less of a freak than she once was and has settled into being a nice mellow dog.
More mellow than manic today, too. I could get used to this. Got a massage this morning and then went to yoga. Did some errands, been chilling out at home, and now off to Spin.
After I get back from Thanksgiving travel, I plan to take a look at the December calendar and squeeze in some adventure, be it a camping trip or a quick visit to Yosemite. I'm hoping for snow soon, so I can start making use of this season pass to Kirkwood. The dude is saving for his motorcycle so there's no days off for fun outta him anytime soon.
I swear my shoulders are sitting three inches lower now that I'm not a computer slave in a shitty chair in a dark cube.
La la la. I could get used to this freedom.
Not gloating, but I'm done working! I left there Friday night with a sense of relief.
I had to teach Saturday morning at 7am, though. But I always get extra energized when I'm teaching a Spin class. My music, my designed workout and, in a sense, it's a bit of a performance. Two hours of class flew by. Saturday afternoon I took a three hour yoga class. One of my long-time teachers does a three hour workshop once a month. It's a way to chip away at the crust in one's muscles in a deep way. A hot tub and sauna finished my Saturday off nicely.
Sunday was more mellow, until we had a special birthday spin class for one of our friends, followed by a get-together at Trader Vics in Emeryville. Love that place, despite it being expensive with marginal service.
Luna girl didn't go to her Dads on Sunday night like she usually does. She's staying here for a couple more days, until I leave for Chicago. It's nice having a dog here more than two days a week. She's far less of a freak than she once was and has settled into being a nice mellow dog.
More mellow than manic today, too. I could get used to this. Got a massage this morning and then went to yoga. Did some errands, been chilling out at home, and now off to Spin.
After I get back from Thanksgiving travel, I plan to take a look at the December calendar and squeeze in some adventure, be it a camping trip or a quick visit to Yosemite. I'm hoping for snow soon, so I can start making use of this season pass to Kirkwood. The dude is saving for his motorcycle so there's no days off for fun outta him anytime soon.
I swear my shoulders are sitting three inches lower now that I'm not a computer slave in a shitty chair in a dark cube.
La la la. I could get used to this freedom.
November 14, 2006
Too funny!
So yesterday I posted my wish to the universe to hand me a slow period of work, since I seem unable to do it for myself.
Within two hours, I received an email about more work. HA!
It's a project I worked on a while back. It's more arty than what I usually produce. It's about art, not advertising. It's working from home finding cool art to be in klassy stores. It's working from h o m e . That alone is meaningful. Yes, of course there are the usual politics, layers of approvals, and the usual. But it could start after Thanksgiving and take me through the end of March.
working from home. during snowboarding season. uh huh.
i am going to give them my highest rate and see if they bite. no loss if they don't!
Within two hours, I received an email about more work. HA!
It's a project I worked on a while back. It's more arty than what I usually produce. It's about art, not advertising. It's working from home finding cool art to be in klassy stores. It's working from h o m e . That alone is meaningful. Yes, of course there are the usual politics, layers of approvals, and the usual. But it could start after Thanksgiving and take me through the end of March.
working from home. during snowboarding season. uh huh.
i am going to give them my highest rate and see if they bite. no loss if they don't!
November 13, 2006
The Wall
I've hit the proverbial wall. I'm done. I'm exhausted. And cranky.
I no longer care. I just want to be done.
I've been working too much this year. Giving too much of my own energy, brainpower and life. I don't know how the people around me, the staffers, do it. We're all working on one of the biggest product launches in years, and these exhausted souls have been at it for months.
I wish I could be done working in advertising. I think what I find so draining about it is that I find it meaningless. It doesn't fuel my need to do personally meaningful work that has a purpose that I find worthwhile.
Today, while riding BART into the city, I thought, "I really wonder what it would take to work in Veterinary Medicine." In high school I abandoned my call to be a Vet, thanks (or not) to some very misguided advice from my high school guidance counselor.
I want to work with animals. I want to be involved in holistic health. This is all overshadowed by my reluctance to go into debt by going back to school.
It's hard to summon the ongoing energy to work on something that doesn't feel fulfilling.
I've also realized that if I want time off, I need to turn down work. I would really like the month of December off. I'm just putting that out into the universe, since I seem to have a difficult time turning down work.
In other news:
I've really been feeling the loss of Milo lately. I've had a couple hard crying jags. He would have been eight at the end of this month. I still miss his velvety block head and weighty silent presence on a regular basis.
I have decided to take fun into my own hands. Years ago, I said I wanted to do a rafting trip through the Grand Canyon. Next year, I will do it. Alone.
I've also been talking about taking a yoga teacher training course. Next year I want to begin this. I'm not saying I will be a yoga teacher immediately afterwards, but I want to begin the process.
Starting in December, I have a permanent slot teaching Spin at Berkeley Ironworks. An evening class, even!
There's a lot of good in my life. I just need to take a step back from all this work to recognize and appreciate it.
I no longer care. I just want to be done.
I've been working too much this year. Giving too much of my own energy, brainpower and life. I don't know how the people around me, the staffers, do it. We're all working on one of the biggest product launches in years, and these exhausted souls have been at it for months.
I wish I could be done working in advertising. I think what I find so draining about it is that I find it meaningless. It doesn't fuel my need to do personally meaningful work that has a purpose that I find worthwhile.
Today, while riding BART into the city, I thought, "I really wonder what it would take to work in Veterinary Medicine." In high school I abandoned my call to be a Vet, thanks (or not) to some very misguided advice from my high school guidance counselor.
I want to work with animals. I want to be involved in holistic health. This is all overshadowed by my reluctance to go into debt by going back to school.
It's hard to summon the ongoing energy to work on something that doesn't feel fulfilling.
I've also realized that if I want time off, I need to turn down work. I would really like the month of December off. I'm just putting that out into the universe, since I seem to have a difficult time turning down work.
In other news:
I've really been feeling the loss of Milo lately. I've had a couple hard crying jags. He would have been eight at the end of this month. I still miss his velvety block head and weighty silent presence on a regular basis.
I have decided to take fun into my own hands. Years ago, I said I wanted to do a rafting trip through the Grand Canyon. Next year, I will do it. Alone.
I've also been talking about taking a yoga teacher training course. Next year I want to begin this. I'm not saying I will be a yoga teacher immediately afterwards, but I want to begin the process.
Starting in December, I have a permanent slot teaching Spin at Berkeley Ironworks. An evening class, even!
There's a lot of good in my life. I just need to take a step back from all this work to recognize and appreciate it.
October 29, 2006
October 19, 2006
A Long Time Ago
I'm having dinner tomorrow evening with an old friend. A person I have not seen since art school in 1989.
I can't wait. This ought to be fascinating. Google in an amazing tool.
I can't wait. This ought to be fascinating. Google in an amazing tool.
October 17, 2006
Duh, Jen...
Newsflash!
I'm working too damn much.
I haven't been to the gym in 12 days. Sure, I've been sick. But, still. I vote for sleep over spin, and that's not right. Neither is it right that it's not light out until after 7am, which is part of my problem in waking up.
Must. Exercise. Soon.
I'm working too damn much.
I haven't been to the gym in 12 days. Sure, I've been sick. But, still. I vote for sleep over spin, and that's not right. Neither is it right that it's not light out until after 7am, which is part of my problem in waking up.
Must. Exercise. Soon.
October 13, 2006
Changing Seasons
Fall is definitely in the air. We've had our first rain. The air is chillier. Comfort foods and soups are making appearances. For me, though, the changing season is signified by getting my first cold of the season. Which would be fine, if I were like a normal person who got a cold and said cold continued on it's merry way after a few days.
No such luck. Since I was a small child, colds often morphed into something larger. Sinus infections. Bronchitis. A few times, pneumonia. All require antibiotics. Nowadays, as a stubborn adult who eschews medication and goes for alternative remedies, this usually means a week or more of being miserable until I give in and go to the doctor. This week has been filled with painful hacking coughs, shortness of breath, an asthma attack or two, and feeling like hell. My coughing is worse at night. It routinely kicks up into full gear around 4am. My dearone P has been woken nightly by my bouts of coughing. I've even woken the neighbors above me in the pre-dawn coughing spells.
My body is incredibly sore from all the coughing. I feel like I've done a thousand crunches. My psoas aches. My thighs ache. My chest and shoulders are sore to the touch.
I broke down and went to Kaiser today. Antibiotics, inhalers, codeine cough syrup. The predictable goody bag.
More importantly, I go to my acupuncturist tomorrow. I managed to score a cancellation. I should have gone sooner, the "fall tune-up" is something that should become part of my preventative routine.
Tomorrow's a big needlin' day. After the acupuncture, I go get my tattoo worked on! Haven't had a session since June, so I don't care how sick I am, I'm not about to cancel this one.
I finished a nice freelance gig yesterday. Six weeks back at my old haunt. Nice to see everyone. Amazingly, I had two agencies wanting to have me start on Monday. Nice to be able to have choices. I am incredibly grateful and surprised at how work keeps showing up. I don't even have a resume these days. In this business, if you're pleasant to work with, do a kickass job, and leave things wrapped up so someone else doesn't have to figure out loose ends, it seems to be plenty to push one's professional reputation forward and keep the work coming. All those things come easily, and I'm so so so much happier being a freelancer. I was hoping for a break, but I'm riding out this wave of work and being grateful that I can earn this kind of money and save save save.
Snowboarding season is just around the corner, and I'll be happy to have those slower months to be in Tahoe.
That's what's keeping me plowing through all this work.
Gotta go hydrate.
No such luck. Since I was a small child, colds often morphed into something larger. Sinus infections. Bronchitis. A few times, pneumonia. All require antibiotics. Nowadays, as a stubborn adult who eschews medication and goes for alternative remedies, this usually means a week or more of being miserable until I give in and go to the doctor. This week has been filled with painful hacking coughs, shortness of breath, an asthma attack or two, and feeling like hell. My coughing is worse at night. It routinely kicks up into full gear around 4am. My dearone P has been woken nightly by my bouts of coughing. I've even woken the neighbors above me in the pre-dawn coughing spells.
My body is incredibly sore from all the coughing. I feel like I've done a thousand crunches. My psoas aches. My thighs ache. My chest and shoulders are sore to the touch.
I broke down and went to Kaiser today. Antibiotics, inhalers, codeine cough syrup. The predictable goody bag.
More importantly, I go to my acupuncturist tomorrow. I managed to score a cancellation. I should have gone sooner, the "fall tune-up" is something that should become part of my preventative routine.
Tomorrow's a big needlin' day. After the acupuncture, I go get my tattoo worked on! Haven't had a session since June, so I don't care how sick I am, I'm not about to cancel this one.
I finished a nice freelance gig yesterday. Six weeks back at my old haunt. Nice to see everyone. Amazingly, I had two agencies wanting to have me start on Monday. Nice to be able to have choices. I am incredibly grateful and surprised at how work keeps showing up. I don't even have a resume these days. In this business, if you're pleasant to work with, do a kickass job, and leave things wrapped up so someone else doesn't have to figure out loose ends, it seems to be plenty to push one's professional reputation forward and keep the work coming. All those things come easily, and I'm so so so much happier being a freelancer. I was hoping for a break, but I'm riding out this wave of work and being grateful that I can earn this kind of money and save save save.
Snowboarding season is just around the corner, and I'll be happy to have those slower months to be in Tahoe.
That's what's keeping me plowing through all this work.
Gotta go hydrate.
September 27, 2006
On the brighter side
Little Miss Cranky Pants (which is what I consider myself to be when I read something like my last posting) will be taking some down time this weekend. Tomorrow I'll be heading up to Mendocino for a four day women's yoga retreat. Four hours a day of yoga, good food, good company, and stargazing ought to chill me out.
Planning to bring my bike with the hopes I can squeeze in a long ride on Highway One. I love riding on the coast.
Planning to bring my bike with the hopes I can squeeze in a long ride on Highway One. I love riding on the coast.
September 25, 2006
Another Month, Another Thought.
I'm 37.
Damn it. I'm starting to feel the effects of aging. Not the "Oh my god, i have wrinkles!" sort of aging. I feel it physically.
I'm just coming off an intense work stretch of nearly two weeks of working without a day off. Long hours, long days, strung together. Lots of driving. I feel exhausted, not right, lethargic. In recent memory, a day off and I'd bounce back fine. Didn't need lots of sleep or pampering. Not so any longer. I need sleep. Desperately. So much so that I am choosing sleep over early morning spin classes, which really sucks incredibly hard.
I've been noticing my knees are stiff and achy more often than not. I have arthritis which usually appears in the winter months. It seems to have settled in on a full time basis lately. The shots I get in both knees usually last a full year. The shots had seven months of usefulness this year.
When I went away earlier in the month, I slept in a bed that wasn't mine. My back hasn't been right since. Granted, I was in a car accident nearly six months ago (when the hell can I stop thinking about the accident and all the ways it has impacted my life? Such a minor accident in the scheme of things, yet it has impacted more than words can say month after month.) Why would a different bed destroy my back? I'm fucking aging. And life is handing me very obvious signs, because I am known for missing subtle cues handed to me by my own self.
There is an end in sight to the work. They hired a full-timer. I'll be staying on until she starts and get her up to speed, then make my departure into the unknown. I hope to see a lot of hours in the gym and on the saddle in the second half of October.
Fuck, man, aging sucks.
Damn it. I'm starting to feel the effects of aging. Not the "Oh my god, i have wrinkles!" sort of aging. I feel it physically.
I'm just coming off an intense work stretch of nearly two weeks of working without a day off. Long hours, long days, strung together. Lots of driving. I feel exhausted, not right, lethargic. In recent memory, a day off and I'd bounce back fine. Didn't need lots of sleep or pampering. Not so any longer. I need sleep. Desperately. So much so that I am choosing sleep over early morning spin classes, which really sucks incredibly hard.
I've been noticing my knees are stiff and achy more often than not. I have arthritis which usually appears in the winter months. It seems to have settled in on a full time basis lately. The shots I get in both knees usually last a full year. The shots had seven months of usefulness this year.
When I went away earlier in the month, I slept in a bed that wasn't mine. My back hasn't been right since. Granted, I was in a car accident nearly six months ago (when the hell can I stop thinking about the accident and all the ways it has impacted my life? Such a minor accident in the scheme of things, yet it has impacted more than words can say month after month.) Why would a different bed destroy my back? I'm fucking aging. And life is handing me very obvious signs, because I am known for missing subtle cues handed to me by my own self.
There is an end in sight to the work. They hired a full-timer. I'll be staying on until she starts and get her up to speed, then make my departure into the unknown. I hope to see a lot of hours in the gym and on the saddle in the second half of October.
Fuck, man, aging sucks.
August 26, 2006
New Growth
New Flower
Originally uploaded by jenworth.
This flower opened a few days ago.
Seemingly insignificant. And it is. Aside from this being the plant I bought when I moved into the apartment. This whole branch has since developed from the main stem, essentially from nothing, over the course of a few months sitting in front of the big window diffused by airy linen.
Before moving, I could never keep a houseplant alive, let alone an orchid.
It's so pretty.
August 25, 2006
Restored
Burney Creek
Originally uploaded by jenworth.
Camping trip was most excellent.
We went with P's wing-it method, which is a little different than Little Miss Planner's methodology. Although I did some research online and had printouts and such, really, it all came down to getting in the car and driving. We looked at, and rejected, campgrounds along Lake Shasta. Too populated, too many RV's, too tourtisty for our tastes. We like our camping to be more remote and free of people close by.
We drove farther north, and headed out 89 East past McCloud. Saw more campgrounds. At about 6pm, we declared a winner. Algoma campground was on Forest Service land. No running water, and an unmaintained vault toilet. It was also free, and we scored a site on McCloud river, with no people in sight. It was awesome hearing the river at all times.
Spent two nights there, checking out the McCloud River waterfalls, the towns of Weed and Mt. Shasta, and having slow mornings. I now have a souvenir "Experience Weed, California" t-shirt to commemorate the trip.
We decided to do some road trippin'. Headed out 89 East again, to check out Burney Falls, drove through Lassen National Park (awesome! far less crowded than Yosemite, and some darn purty landscapes!) We had a snowball fight in August near Mt. Lassen peak; well, not so much as a snowball fight as I ambushed my traveling partner. Made a mental note that I'd love to hike up Lassen peak sometime, plus that place is so uncrowded it would be great for backpacking.
Kept on truckin' out of Lassen and decided to find our campsite for the night. We drove to Lake Almanor and found a nicely empty campground on the south shore of the Lake. It was blissfully quiet thanks to it being Sunday evening. P made a bean stew that even after cooking for, oh, about three hours and two cannisters of propane, the beans were still hard in the center. Go figure. Late and dark into the evening, we heard a noise that caused P to pause (note: only pause, because being a manly-man, he does not frighten. ha!). I recognized the screams as a pack of coyotes in the night. To those who've not experienced such a sounds, it sounds quite like a screaming child and something not-quite-human. Wild!
Next morning we tried to cook those damn beans some more in hopes of having breakfast, but after another hour they still were hard. (And even after two more hours at home that evening: still hard! what the hell?). Finally we gave up on the beans, and headed out. We took Highway 70 down the North Fork of the Feather River. Unbelievably gorgeous territory. Shocking to come into the Delta Towns that were utter shite. Made our way back home, relaxed and happy to have had a few days in nature.
This week has been more dental work, more errands, and then it's back to work for me on Monday! Two weeks off was great, not enough, but hey! That's all some staffers get all year. Ouch! Anyway, I have to wrap my brain around the idea of long hours and such again, but at least did my annual hourly rate increase, so I can't complain too much.
Except I'd like to live someplace more mellow and less crowded. Some day, perhaps.
August 16, 2006
Intimately Familiar
Could you readily point to your quadratus lumborum?
I didn't think so.
I can. It's a source of pretty regular discomfort. It took the hit in my car accident back in April. (April! Nearly five months ago. Why am I not back to 100% yet? It makes me crazy to seem "fine" but to have still such an impact on my cycling abilities.)
Today I was at my chiropractor (whom I love, love, love!) and she waas telling me I needed to work and stretch my QL (quadratus lumborum, shorthand). Yoga, duh. She said "surfing would be really good for it". I have to say, I have always wanted to learn to surf. It was one of two things I wanted to learn when I moved to California 10 years ago. I grew up on the ocean, on Cape Cod. I have salt water in my blood, even though I'm not a stellar swimmer. So I will file this in my brain, and perhaps look for one of those Chick Surf Clinics. Like I don't already have a million different activities that I partake in, that require gear.
Anyway, my quadratus lumborum is sore today. Now that I'm not working, I'm cycling/spinning more. Today will see 2.5 hours of spinning, dork that I am.
I better enjoy the time off while I have it. I just got booked for September. Another agency than the last (in fact, I spent 5 years on staff at the agency I'll be spending my September with!). Gotta deal with the dental BS before then; root canal is done. (thanks to valium and nitrous, it wasn't so bad!)
I am pondering the idea of recovering psychologically from my injuries. It makes me mad and sad and frustrated that I feel slow, sluggy and heavy on the bike. When I simply ride, without regard to speed, it's pure and enjoyable. When I do the mental comparison to where I was pre-accident, I get down. I really, really want to be better. I'd like to do one century this year, just to prove to myself I'm not some lameass.
I didn't think so.
I can. It's a source of pretty regular discomfort. It took the hit in my car accident back in April. (April! Nearly five months ago. Why am I not back to 100% yet? It makes me crazy to seem "fine" but to have still such an impact on my cycling abilities.)
Today I was at my chiropractor (whom I love, love, love!) and she waas telling me I needed to work and stretch my QL (quadratus lumborum, shorthand). Yoga, duh. She said "surfing would be really good for it". I have to say, I have always wanted to learn to surf. It was one of two things I wanted to learn when I moved to California 10 years ago. I grew up on the ocean, on Cape Cod. I have salt water in my blood, even though I'm not a stellar swimmer. So I will file this in my brain, and perhaps look for one of those Chick Surf Clinics. Like I don't already have a million different activities that I partake in, that require gear.
Anyway, my quadratus lumborum is sore today. Now that I'm not working, I'm cycling/spinning more. Today will see 2.5 hours of spinning, dork that I am.
I better enjoy the time off while I have it. I just got booked for September. Another agency than the last (in fact, I spent 5 years on staff at the agency I'll be spending my September with!). Gotta deal with the dental BS before then; root canal is done. (thanks to valium and nitrous, it wasn't so bad!)
I am pondering the idea of recovering psychologically from my injuries. It makes me mad and sad and frustrated that I feel slow, sluggy and heavy on the bike. When I simply ride, without regard to speed, it's pure and enjoyable. When I do the mental comparison to where I was pre-accident, I get down. I really, really want to be better. I'd like to do one century this year, just to prove to myself I'm not some lameass.
August 9, 2006
Evolving
Hip Belt
Originally uploaded by jenworth.
Oh man, I've been a blogging slacker. Free time seems to avoid me; I am expert at squeezing 20 more things into a day. I never seem to have enough time, there's always something I "should" do or "want" to do.
I want some down time. And the good news is, I'm about to get it!
Yep, my freelancing gig ends Friday! I am excited by the possibility of wide open hours ahead of me. Sure I'll miss the dough (especially since I am about to incur some major expenses, but more on that later.) but I am into the game of Extreme Thrift: it's fun to see just how much one can cut expenses and purchases. But even more than my being into the fun of Thrift, I am more excited by reclaiming my own time. I am always very conscious of trading dollars for my life energy.
The ad agency I've been at for the past three months is a very busy place. I've met some cool people, but in general, ad people aren't My People. I am looking forward to not having my ass be the shape of an Aeron chair. To not be in a cube, on conference calls, in meetings, negotiating, producing, and juggling. Instead, I'm about to see freedom.
So while there are some freelancers who would start getting worried about not having work, I am very much looking forward to it. It's one of the main reasons I freelance. I've been lucky as a freelancer; I'm as busy as I'd like to be. But I require a couple months off a year.
Now that I've gloated, I'll whine. Those expenses I mentioned earlier? Yeah. Check this: I need a root canal, a crown, and new tires on my car. Ka-ching! That just ate into about a month's living expenses.
When I was told today that Friday definitely would be my last day, my first thought was: "YES! This means I can go for a long bike ride before my root canal on Monday!" I'm looking forward to getting back into the physical shape I was in a few months ago (car accident + day job with long hours = 5 pounds). I'd like to even try gym climbing again to see how the shoulder is doing. What can I say? I'll probably spend 3+ hours a day exercising. Some people think I exercise too much already. (Ha! Hardly!)
I'm also going camping in a week. A trip is in the works to go up to Lake Shasta area. Being in the outdoors like that is so therapeutic for me. It's unbelievable what it does for my soul. I got me one hell of a cute camp partner who also happens to be a fabulous cook.
Jeez, I feel like a lucky girl.
July 7, 2006
Life is Good!
Ball Obsessed!
Originally uploaded by jenworth.
I sound like one of those cheesy t-shirts they sell at REI. You know the ones.
It's been a l-o-n-g time since I've updated.
The house sold. Quickly. Easily. For a lot more than asking, and seven offers. The media hype about the real estate market's decline is BS.
The divorce is final. Legally single. Happy to have that whole thing wrapped up and to still be friends. I wish him only happiness and a life that is meaningful.
I'm recovering nicely from the car accident. Thanks to a lot of bodywork. I sold my Death Ride ticket, though, because I am not strong enough for that this year. Maybe next year? Who knows. I haven't done more than 40 miles in a long time.
I'm all settled into my apartment on Lake Merritt. I really like it here! It's so nice to see the changing light on the lake, the Canadian Geese babies, and the spaciousness of having a lake nearby.
Been working a steady freelance gig for two months now. It's good money. Very steadily busy, long hours, and back to working in an office five days a week (that took some getting used to!). Looks like it will continue for at least a month.
Aside from life being very busy and filled with work things are pretty mellow. Haven't been this happy in a long while. I wish I could spend more time with Luna Dog, but she stays with me on the weekends.
Heading out this weekend for my first camping trip of the year. Going up the coast north of Jenner. Looking forward to a mellow time, good hikes, yummy camp food, and practicing yoga outdoors.
Seeya!
June 14, 2006
New Tattoo
I've got a new tattoo.
Guess where it is?
No fair if you've seen it in person. If you've seen it up close, you know me better than most.
May 29, 2006
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