March 29, 2005

Warning! Whining Rant Ahead!

WARNING! If you don't feel like listening to me whine like a pathetic little wuss, don't bother reading further. See that button in the upper right part of your screen that says "Next Blog"? Hit it now. Move along. NOW!

Y'know how in my last post I mentioned I "might" be getting sick. Strike that. I"M FUCKING SICK. and you know what? I'M FUCKING SICK OF BEING SICK. I was sick two goddamn weeks ago with the stomach flu. Now, I've got whatever lungcrud is floating around.
I've had a fever over a hundred degrees since SUNDAY.

I've tried to be "good". I've called in sick the past two days. (As a freelancer, this is COSTING ME A LOT OF FREAKIN' MONEY, THIS BEING SICK!) I've not gone to the gym, worked out, anything more than hauling my sorry ass to the bathroom. (HELLO, FRIENDS WHO THINK I HAVE AN EXERCISE OBSESSION: you might be right, and just you wait until I turn into a raging bitch without the benefit of mood enhancing endorphins that might otherwise come in the form of MEDS!) I have eschewed my normal dinners of cereal to turn the OVEN ON to make myself a real, healthy dinner. I have been hydrating like a motherfucker, taking all sorts of crap like echinacea, Wellness Formula (then why am i NOT WELL YET?)

I FEEL LIKE SHIT. It's hard to breathe. My back, ribcage, and abdomen HURT FROM COUGHING ENDLESSLY.

I am BORED. I have read every stupid magazine known to womankind. Even OPRAH. Take that, you know who!

I have my first ride of the season on SATURDAY. What the hell are the chances I will be well enough to ride? Uh-huh. And what are the chances I will ride anyway? Bingo.

AND ON TOP OF THIS BEING SICK BULLSHIT: I was eating cereal (for breakfast! not even for dinner!) yesterday, and another goddamn crown cracked. Note for those keeping track: this is the second one in a MONTH! (oh wait! like the second time in a MONTH THAT I'M SICK?! oh, yes!) This crown, like the other one, was TWO YEARS OLD and done by a seemingly skilled dentist with a swanky San Francisco office and was RECOMMENDED BY FRIENDS! side rant: how can you tell the quality of a dentist's work? sure you can get recommendations from friends, but you can't ask them to open their mouths to see their work, ask how long they've had it done, and what kind of workmanship was involved!

SO ON TOP OF BEING SICK, I SAT IN THE DENTISTS CHAIR FOR TWO ANNOYING HOURS TODAY. My new dentist is cool; he's being doing it for 30+ years, and he understands my MASSIVE FEAR, and that I don't get in the chair without valium or nitrous.
So he goes to offer me the gas, and this dental assistant, whom I've never met before today, said "Oh! You don't need that! Besides, it's not good for you anyway." I shot this woman the Look of Death. Before I could respond, Dear Dentist replied to her, "Yes, she does need it. She's one of our Special Patients". So I went through the process of getting the old crown pulled off, ground down, and prepped for an all-new crown. CAN I TELL YOU IT WAS LIKE A PARTY IN MY MOUTH? would you believe me?

So to wind down the RANT: I found some codeine cough syrup in the back of a cabinet. I took THREE TIMES the normal dose, hoping to knock myself out and get some sleep that didn't involve fits of convulsive coughing jags. Did it work? YOU'RE READING THIS, WHAT DO YOU THINK?!?!?

Fuckin'-A, man. I need to be well. Soon. Like now.

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