This video
Carly: a blind woman, who was hit by a car in a crosswalk. She was in a coma, and had a long rehab. She spins now. She's an amazingly strong spirit.
My yoga practice. Right now it's a source of exploration and information.
July 23, 2008
July 21, 2008
i could cry, but i choose laughter
Day 3, post knee surgery:
today, i ventured out of the house! i felt air on my skin! i saw life happening! i went to lanesplitter's for a quick lunch. okay, nevermind that it probably took more time than i was outside to: unhook the picnic coolers, remove the anti embolism stockings, put on pants, and crutch-walk my pokey self down hall, down four steps (thankfully, there's only 4!), open door and get self into 4 Runner. getting one's self into a car isn't quite so easy when one's knees don't bend.
yeah. my right knee is wonky. swollen. huge. it looks like a misshapen soccer ball. only with sesame street band-aids and a few bruises on said sad misshapen ball. it's not stable in the joint, but if i carefully step into the foot, i can get the knee to stabilize. truth be told, there's some fear of weight bearing on ole righty! when i removed the dressing for the first time last evening, i saw my right knee had an extra stitch, which translates into a third place a scope or device entered my knee joint.
left knee: great. barely swollen. still not so bendy, but pretty fine for three days out.
my handicapped placard came! holy crap, i'm lame! i'm excited to have a disabled placard. (full disclosure: i can park on the metered streets for free in SF and no longer pay $18 to park near work!)
super scrabble, iChat, backgammon, and paul are keeping me from losing it.
tonight i laughed at this outdoorsy moment of lameness. i desperately needed a shower, but didn't feel like i could be stable standing in the shower for 5 minutes without crutches on a soapy surface. so paul put a big picnic cooler in the tub and i sat on that and showered! clever guy, love him! i felt like i was in an elderly shower stall, but i am CLEAN and that's all that matters!
still avoiding the percocet. except for popping a vicodin before bed, i'm only taking ibuprofin. yay!
i start PT thursday, and go back to the doc that day, too. i'm not so sure i'll be mobile enough to return to work next monday. i'm hopeful, but we shall see!
freshly showered, now it's back to the KoolerHosen.
today, i ventured out of the house! i felt air on my skin! i saw life happening! i went to lanesplitter's for a quick lunch. okay, nevermind that it probably took more time than i was outside to: unhook the picnic coolers, remove the anti embolism stockings, put on pants, and crutch-walk my pokey self down hall, down four steps (thankfully, there's only 4!), open door and get self into 4 Runner. getting one's self into a car isn't quite so easy when one's knees don't bend.
yeah. my right knee is wonky. swollen. huge. it looks like a misshapen soccer ball. only with sesame street band-aids and a few bruises on said sad misshapen ball. it's not stable in the joint, but if i carefully step into the foot, i can get the knee to stabilize. truth be told, there's some fear of weight bearing on ole righty! when i removed the dressing for the first time last evening, i saw my right knee had an extra stitch, which translates into a third place a scope or device entered my knee joint.
left knee: great. barely swollen. still not so bendy, but pretty fine for three days out.
my handicapped placard came! holy crap, i'm lame! i'm excited to have a disabled placard. (full disclosure: i can park on the metered streets for free in SF and no longer pay $18 to park near work!)
super scrabble, iChat, backgammon, and paul are keeping me from losing it.
tonight i laughed at this outdoorsy moment of lameness. i desperately needed a shower, but didn't feel like i could be stable standing in the shower for 5 minutes without crutches on a soapy surface. so paul put a big picnic cooler in the tub and i sat on that and showered! clever guy, love him! i felt like i was in an elderly shower stall, but i am CLEAN and that's all that matters!
still avoiding the percocet. except for popping a vicodin before bed, i'm only taking ibuprofin. yay!
i start PT thursday, and go back to the doc that day, too. i'm not so sure i'll be mobile enough to return to work next monday. i'm hopeful, but we shall see!
freshly showered, now it's back to the KoolerHosen
July 19, 2008
on the other side...
my knee surgery was yesterday. all things considered, i'm doing great. i haven't spoken to my surgeon since before the surgery, but he left paul a VM saying it went well, my knees were better than expected, the problem remains the lack of cartilage under the knees, and i am a candidate for the ACI procedure. all good news. the big bummer yesterday was the anesthesia made me vomit anything i put in my mouth. it was a cycle of a constant wave of nausea. i even threw up in the car on the way home, splashing cranberry juice vomit all over paul and me. paul kept giving me a progressively larger vessel to puke into. finally, i took some promethazine, an anti-nausea drug, and i was able to keep dinner down.
let me back up...my knees have these braces which circulate icy water through hoses attached to mini picnic coolers. each knee has a cooler. i'm also sporting some sexy anti-embolism stockings. i'm supposed to be keeping the picnic coolers attached round the clock for 48 hours, and my nurse nazi is lovingly ensuring i follow doctor's orders.
i feel SO much better today with the anesthesia and drugs out of my body (i know i had the following in me: morphine, antibiotics, anti-nausea meds all put into my IV bag.) for the most part i've been managing the pain with ibuprofin only. percocet scares me, i don't want to be all drugged up; besides, i want to feel the pain a wee bit to remind me that i ought to be taking it easy.
this morning i was feeling great! thus far, i've had no pain in my left knee. almost 90 degree bend can be had. my right knee felt pretty good, but then it was having some stinging in a localized point (maybe where the scope went in?) but this afternoon a low-level ache all throughout the joint has made itself known. did i do too much? i've hobbled a bit without the crutches, and i stood in the kitchen making my coffee this morning.
really, though, the hardest part is being immobile and sitting still. BORED! hello, we have no TV! and the internet gets boring. and i've read my magazines. my attention span is too short right now to dig into a book. the kitties provide some entertainment. i feel very lucky, because i think this could be worse.
my big outing planned for today is a walk down the hall to get the mail. woo!
let me back up...my knees have these braces which circulate icy water through hoses attached to mini picnic coolers. each knee has a cooler. i'm also sporting some sexy anti-embolism stockings. i'm supposed to be keeping the picnic coolers attached round the clock for 48 hours, and my nurse nazi is lovingly ensuring i follow doctor's orders.
i feel SO much better today with the anesthesia and drugs out of my body (i know i had the following in me: morphine, antibiotics, anti-nausea meds all put into my IV bag.) for the most part i've been managing the pain with ibuprofin only. percocet scares me, i don't want to be all drugged up; besides, i want to feel the pain a wee bit to remind me that i ought to be taking it easy.
this morning i was feeling great! thus far, i've had no pain in my left knee. almost 90 degree bend can be had. my right knee felt pretty good, but then it was having some stinging in a localized point (maybe where the scope went in?) but this afternoon a low-level ache all throughout the joint has made itself known. did i do too much? i've hobbled a bit without the crutches, and i stood in the kitchen making my coffee this morning.
really, though, the hardest part is being immobile and sitting still. BORED! hello, we have no TV! and the internet gets boring. and i've read my magazines. my attention span is too short right now to dig into a book. the kitties provide some entertainment. i feel very lucky, because i think this could be worse.
my big outing planned for today is a walk down the hall to get the mail. woo!
July 13, 2008
lovely
I'd been trippin' on a self induced pity party about my knees. Life smacked me in the face and gave me several opportunities to get over myself. There's nothing like being shaken to one's core with sadness, and to see dear ones face death of those they love deeply. My suffering could be so much greater.
Having emerged from My Funk, I have renewed commitment towards steering myself away from pessimism. Welcome to the Summer of Radical Positivity. I'm hopeful it sticks around and rolls into the next season. And so on.
The camping trip, as always, was like a reset button. Pinnacles was HOT! There was great hiking to be had, and we enjoyed mellow hot days, and wonderful camp dinners. Stargazing and the sounds of coyotes were evening treats. A beery yoga practice was enjoyed under the shade of a large oak tree.
Since I've ceased teaching Spin (for now), I've been trying to get in more hikes. It's pretty great to head up to Redwood and get in a hike before work. We've been pulling it off regularly. It starts the day off right, in a way a trip to the gym never could for me.
This weekend is another yoga immersion weekend. Yesterday was a fun day! Afterwards, my dear one picked me up and we went for a picnic in the Headlands to watch the sunset. We watched the sun setting, pelicans swooping, and had a really nice little meal. It was one of the sweetest things ever.
Surgery is this Friday. I'm heading down to LA for production on Wednesday and Thursday. It's going to be a busy week, which will be a good distraction. I'm a bit scared about what's to come but trying to remember, at this point, it could be a whole lot worse.
Having emerged from My Funk, I have renewed commitment towards steering myself away from pessimism. Welcome to the Summer of Radical Positivity. I'm hopeful it sticks around and rolls into the next season. And so on.
The camping trip, as always, was like a reset button. Pinnacles was HOT! There was great hiking to be had, and we enjoyed mellow hot days, and wonderful camp dinners. Stargazing and the sounds of coyotes were evening treats. A beery yoga practice was enjoyed under the shade of a large oak tree.
Since I've ceased teaching Spin (for now), I've been trying to get in more hikes. It's pretty great to head up to Redwood and get in a hike before work. We've been pulling it off regularly. It starts the day off right, in a way a trip to the gym never could for me.
This weekend is another yoga immersion weekend. Yesterday was a fun day! Afterwards, my dear one picked me up and we went for a picnic in the Headlands to watch the sunset. We watched the sun setting, pelicans swooping, and had a really nice little meal. It was one of the sweetest things ever.
Surgery is this Friday. I'm heading down to LA for production on Wednesday and Thursday. It's going to be a busy week, which will be a good distraction. I'm a bit scared about what's to come but trying to remember, at this point, it could be a whole lot worse.
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