December 20, 2004

Stuck Inside

Looking Out
Originally uploaded by jenworth.

I'm losing my grip. By all accounts I "should" be happy. Aside from working too much, it appears that life is good.

It's not. It's stagnant.

I have decisions to make. But each decision is like a piece of a puzzle. Until "x" piece gets put in place, "y" piece cannot be found and put into it's proper spot. Life isn't as simple as this though, not as obvious, more emotional.

It's more like dominoes. One decision could put into place a whole wave of movement. Or a topple. Change will be guaranteed, and that's the only guarantee. Change. I need it, fear it, loathe it, but it desperately needs to come. One little change, or a whole lot of change. Not sure which.

It could be the season. Or it might not be. I recall last Christmas I had realizations that wound up being life changing.

Happy Solstice.

1 comment:

Kasmel said...

I'm not sure if you meant that picture to be as depressing as it was or not. You could look at that picture until you were compelled to jump off a building. The window has perfect prison bars symbolism, as well as the twilight skies over the ocean relays the feeling of something being just over the horizon...but is it any better? *(mournful headshake)* You managed to take a picture that more eloquently described your position than your words have thus far.